In Sequence | H.S.

18.

Madelyn. 

Harry and I are currently sitting in a bagel shop down the road from UBS. It's a cold and foggy morning - perfect for what today is about to hold. I'm scarfing down the last half of my asiago and hear a cough coming from across the table. I look up and see Harry staring at me. "You've got -" He says as he points to the corner of his mouth.

I go to reach for a napkin that I set aside but before I can bring it up to my face, I feel a thumb gently wipe away the spread from my lips. I look up at him through my lashes - frozen. I watch him as he brings the pad of his thumb to the tip of his tongue to savor the remainder of cream cheese. "I thought you didn't like cream cheese," I mention while trying to hide how red I know my face is. "Thanks, though."

"Tastes better when it comes from you."

I try to hold back my smirk and grab the last bite of my bagel. I stand up and grab my bag from the back of the chair. "You ready to go?"

He stands up with me, "Are you?"

No, I'm terrified.

"Yes."

He puts his hand at the small of my back and gently leads me to the door. He presses a button on his key fob to get his rental car to start so it can warm up before we get in. I'm a baby when it comes to the cold and he's already picked up on it.

Living up here was never my idea. I mean sure, I started to love it after a while but I always pictured myself somewhere warm. But I think that was partially just being lonely. The cold always feels a little colder when you're by yourself - isolated, only seeing your parents and your coach for days on end. I loved skating... I just wish I was still in love with it.

Forty minutes in a car doesn't seem like it would be a long time - but with Harry, it feels like an eternity. Being in such a small space with him makes me constantly aware of everything he does.

And everything he does is always so fucking hot for no goddamn reason.

The way he hums along to a song and nudges me with his elbow across the console when he catches me mouthing the words.

The way he grabs his pack of gum out of the side of the door and offers me a piece almost instinctively.

The way he drums his thumbs against the steering wheel to the beat of whatever is playing through the speakers.

I've learned that Harry loves music. I can tell just by how he acts when he recognizes a familiar tune - his eyes brighten up. We have that in common. Music is a universal language. There are lyrics out there that can get you through any thought, feeling, emotion.

Sometimes I used to think that music was all that truly understood me even though I was surrounded by people.

Before I knew it, we were pulling up to Madison Square Garden. The familiar sense of dread began to settle in my stomach. I start picking at my cuticles and chewing on the inside of my cheek. I feel fingers pinch my lower lip and slightly pull. "You'll chew a hole in your cheek. Stop."

Another thing I've learned about Harry is how touchy he is. We're the complete opposites in that way. I hate anyone touching me when I don't initiate it. I think it's just from having to be pinched and squeezed during fittings, gripped and lifted during routines, and the boys who always thought I owed them something just because I was in a tiny little outfit.

But... When it's in my control? I love it. I love feeling like someone wants to hold my hand or they're so consumed with emotions that they grab my shoulders and kiss me.