In Sequence | H.S.

22.

TW: Eating Disorder, mentions of restricted eating, & death/parental death.

Madelyn.

I haven't left my bed in days. I'm drowning in blankets and suffocating with them over my head, dreading the daylight. I've been using PTO at work that I've saved up to avoid everyone - even Ella.

It might seem dramatic but I feel like shit. I can hear my phone buzzing on the charger next to my bed for what seems like the hundredth time this morning and it's only 9am. I reach my hand out of the blanket, instantly hit with the cold, and slap my nightstand until I find my cell phone. I pull it under the covers with me and am blinded by the bright screen.

12 missed calls from Ella.

6 missed calls from Sarah.

2 missed calls from Mitch.

Zero missed calls from Harry.

I really fucked it up with him. I can't take back the things that I said to him and honestly I don't think I want to. We were getting too comfortable with each other and I couldn't risk it any longer. I could feel my heart fluttering a little harder when I was with him and my fingers would lose all sensation from anticipation of just being in the same room.

I like him and I can't.

I don't think that I could ever allow myself to fall for him. He's the exact example of a guy that I told myself that I would never date.

My phone starts buzzing in my hand and seeing Ella's name come across the screen I decided to give in. Swiping my thumb to answer, I didn't even get to put it up to my ear before I could hear her voice coming through the speaker.

"Madelyn, fucking finally," Her voice was frantic and hushed. "Are you okay?"

I clear my throat, "Yeah, as good as I can be." Which is the truth. Harry isn't the only one I'm mourning right now.

It's my mom's birthday tomorrow. I was having so much fun planning Halloween and Carlson choosing our costumes - I almost forgot.

I almost forgot my mom's birthday.

She's been gone for a little over four years now. She was sick for a while - since I was little. Lupus is what it's called, an autoimmune disorder that wears your body down. Joints, kidneys, heart, lungs...you name it and Lupus ruins it. My mom was getting weaker, and I'm not stupid - I could tell no matter how strong she thought she acted. Then one day I got a phone call that she was in the hospital and nobody would tell me anything until I got there.

It was a stroke. My mom had a stroke and her heart stopped for too long, she was basically brain dead by the time that I had gotten to her, just hooked up to some tubes.

I left my Coach standing in the middle of the rink when Ella came flying out to tell me to call my dad immediately. I knew it was serious because she never wants me to mutter his name, let alone talk to him. My Coach was furious and told me to not bother coming back if I left, but I had to.

Of course, after my next competition, she came crawling back practically begging on her hands and knees for me to be her student again. I tried to stay away but my dad told me "She's the best Coach in North America. If you're wanting to be an Olympian then you need to go back, immediately."

"I know, babes," Ella's voice breaks me from the spiral I was headed toward. "I know how shitty this weekend has been..you know," She hesitates with her words. "With how things went down with Harry and all."

I sit up with Oliver purring at my side not enjoying the sudden shift of movement, "Yeah, pretty shitty." I mumble while kicking the blanket off of me and putting my feet on the ground for the first time in hours.