In Sequence | H.S.

25.

Madelyn.

Distance was always something that I've been used to, regardless whether or not I initiated it. It's been a couple weeks since I had left Harry's house and the fiasco with Miles the next morning and I feel a little emptier.

I was getting used to having Harry around all the time which is exactly why I had to put an end to it. I'll have to get through this heartache because I'd rather have an ache in my chest than have my career end a second time.

"You need to find someone who you like equally as much." I can hear Ella's words from this morning replaying over and over in my head. I know she thinks that Harry has this obsession with me and that my feelings for him aren't anything more than his physical therapist but God is she wrong.

Harry feels like the breeze whipping through my hair and against my skin when I'm skating. He feels like freedom but mixed with stability. He feels like a weighted blanket holding me together during one of my attacks.

And I'm scared. It's terrifying. And it's over now.

Thanksgiving is in two days and I've been dreading spending this holiday alone. Ella has offered to make an extra bed at her parents house, but Miles will be there and they'll be going to his family the day after - so I declined.

My dad called me a couple days ago and told me that he was celebrating with his new girlfriend and her daughter with their family and that he wouldn't have time to come visit me, his own flesh and blood.

"Madelyn, darling, I'm afraid the holiday plans will have to change once again." My fathers voice booms through the speaker as he's yelling over the background noise on his end.

My shoulders fall a little but my voice is still unwavering, "What for?"

"Becca's family will be in town and I have decided that I would like to get to know them better. Her daughter wanted to spend the time with her grandparents and they generously invited me," He tells me. "You can go spend the day with your friends, can't you?"

My feelings are usually never considered when it comes to big decisions like this. My dad has told me countless times that since I'm an adult then I don't have to be eased into situations. Which is exactly how I ended up in so many shitty situations during my skating career - I was treated as an adult when I was just merely a child.

I'm not saying that my father's new relationships should be compared to the torment I was put under during training but it falls on my shoulders and stomps on my chest just the same.

I grab my laptop while sitting on a bar stool in my kitchen, pulling up Pinterest to look for recipes enough for one. My mom has a few meals that I can remember off the top of my head and I plan on going to our Boston house tomorrow in order to grab the particular dishes she used to make them, in order to try and feel her presence during the holiday.

But until then, I decide that I'll still make a feast for myself.

As I'm scrolling, looking at the different options, there comes a knock on my front door. I stand up quickly, causing the stool to scrape along the wood flooring. Making my way to the entryway, I can hear familiar voices from the other side.

"Can you shut up? She'll hear all of us." Ella's loud whispers sneak through the spaces surrounding the doorframe.

"I'm so sorry, Ms. Ella," Miles' voice comes across next. "These pots are too fuckin' heavy for one person. If you could grab one then that would help a lot."

I peek through the peep hole to watch their encounter. "You have big hockey muscles," She scoffs while giving his arm a squeeze. "Use them."

I cut Miles' response off by opening the front door and immediately all eyes turn to me.