The Forgotten Ones

Late Night Thoughts

Song: My Own by Whitaker

Willa

"Willa, come on, there has to be something else you have tried." That voice. It sounded so familiar. I heard myself laugh, shaking my head. "No, really, I never wanted to try anything different here. I've always enjoyed what I got." I hear myself say. I could recognize the place around me. It was the diner. But, it was blurry and I couldn't recognize who I was talking to. 

"Well okay. But how about we add something? Let's get a cheesecake. It is your birthday and what is a birthday without a cake?" I smiled. I felt warm. I felt...wanted. What is happening? I felt my head begin to hurt. The scene around me began to shake.  

What was happening? "Please, stay." I hear. "I'm sorry." 

I gasp as I shot right up, my heart racing. For a moment, I didn't know where I was. I blinked a couple of times, finally realizing that I was just in my room at my parents house. I sat there, trying to comprehend what the hell that dream was all about. I was at the diner but with who? I have never gone to the diner besides with my father or with groups of friends. I can't remember going to the diner on my birthday who wasn't anyone I didn't know. 

I shook my head, looking besides me at the glowing alarm clock on my night stand. It was only past 3 AM. It was still too early to get up. But, I also didn't know if I wanted to go back to sleep. I didn't know if these dreams were just my brain trying to make me remember. But trying to remember makes my head hurts. Even now, there was this dull headache that I couldn't shake off. 

I haven't had a dream like this for a while. I don't know why it started again. I have had the same routine. The only change has been... Alexander. I shook my head again, not wanting to believe that Alex is the cause of these dreams. 

Yesterdays events though, it was different. He was different. I was surprised to see him at the bookstore. I haven't realized how long it had been when I saw last him until I saw him. His hair had grown longer and he had a light stubble, but it just him look more attractive. I at the moment, I could help but wonder what he would look like with a beard. I was also surprised to see him in normal people clothes rather than those suits he seems to be always wearing. It was nice. 

I would be lying though if I said I didn't miss him. Seeing him on the news, I sort of felt jealous of the attention he grew, especially with all the charity he has been doing. It has just been so long since I have seen him though. And what surprised me the most is when he took me to the diner I have grown up going to. 

When we sat down on the booth farthest from everyone, but next to the window, it felt familiar. But, my dad and I have always sat near the door rather than the back. But being at the booth, I don't know...it just felt familiar. And sitting there, talking to him, I thought I would have felt awkward and uncomfortable. But I wasn't. I felt content eating my food with him across from me. I got to know him better with his story about his father taking him out to dinner before graduation. 

Our lives are just so different. Our childhoods are just so different. What was the connection between me and him? 

And then he began to tell me that story of the prince and the pauper. I didn't get what he trying to get at with that story. I feel like a man who has everything being with a women who has nothing, he would feel like she was beneath her. But the way he looked at me when he explained why that wasn't possible, it almost felt like he was talking about something more. But what? 

I sigh, rubbing my head, trying to rid of my headache. 

At the recent doctor's appointment, they said that the headaches will only get frequent if I overload it, but at times when I am not trying to, it still hurts. I don't know how to stop it. And I don't know if seeing Alexander helps much with it. There is something that he is still keeping from me but he still insists on keeping it away from me. All the research I got from the internet was the usual. Nothing really crazy to say the least.