The Forgotten Ones

Run in with the Past

Song: Ends of the Earth by Lord Huron  

Willa: 

Alexander dropped me off at my house before the curfew my parents set. I have been trying to recall everything that just happened. The thing with Alexander. It was strange. I felt like I knew the place but at the same time, I didn't. And then the garden had brought an itch in the back of my mind. Like something wanted to come out but nothing did. It made me question everything. The whole thing. I know Alexander knows something. And I know he didn't take me to those places for no reason. But after everything, the look on his face when I told him I didn't remember, he had this look of defeat on him. His eyes only darkened and his face fell. He didn't want to talk after that. He just drove me home in silence and said goodnight to me before I went into my house. He didn't say anything else to me. Something did happen in the garden a long time ago. In that same garden. What was it though? I couldn't help but rack my brain around it all night long. 

I kept turning in my bed, not being able to fall asleep. My parents did ask about how everything went but I didn't want to talk about it. In my brain are memories hidden. But where is the key to unlocking all of those memories? Alexander won't help me but who else will? He is the only one who knows more than anyone else. And I know my family won't tell me anything because they are afraid of me knowing something. But that disappointment that Alexander had. I know he hates me for not remembering. What is it that he wants me to remember though? It's been getting so hard to remember everything. My head is starting to hurt from everything. I couldn't understand any of this. I decided to get up from my bed and go to the bathroom, looking through my medicine cablet to find any Aspirin or Tylenol to somehow relieve my headache. I know my parents don't want me to think too much and even my doctors but I can't help it. There are so many things I don't know. Finally finding a bottle of Tylenol, I took two pills out, swallowing them dry, waiting for the medicine to set in. As I closed the cabinet door, I saw, the mirror popping in front of me. I don't ever remember having my hair be so short. I don't remember it being so dark either. I remember it being light. And my skin, pale now from my visit to the hospital. I look different. I don't ever remember looking like this. There are just so many things that are different about me. Even the boxes of clothes that Alexander brought from my place, which I also don't know how it looks like, those clothes aren't me. 

I walk out of the bathroom and sit back on my bed, the room still dark, the only light source coming from my alarm and the bit of moonlight shining through the curtains. I could feel the medicine finally settle in, the headache becoming a bit dull. I know Alexander won't come by for a while since I disappointed him. But, being out yesterday was a breath of fresh air. Being home with my parents all-day has started to suffocate me. I don't have a lot to do at home. I feel like a little kid again. My parents are always watching my every move as if I am going to break someday. As much as I love them, I can not be in the house. The art show was beautiful and amazing. And the dinner, even though it was very expensive and luxurious, I loved it. I loved every moment of it. Even though the outing wasn't a date either, I couldn't help but admire Alexander. It was my first time being alone with him and enjoying ourselves rather than discussing the problem. I could tell how all the women looked at him as if he had just stolen their hearts. He did look handsome in his clothes. Even though he wasn't all that dressed up, he still looked great. 

Again, something stirred in my head. What is it? Was I missing something? I know that nothing in that box of my things will help me. I have tried so many times looking through that useless box of stuff and still, I never found anything. Nothing ever came up. Even the photos. I cannot recognize that girl who I called my roommate or the girl who was me. I just frustrated me more the more I thought about it. I groan, laying flat on my bed, giving up. What's the point of thinking about it? I am not going to remember. Who knows how long I won't remember. Some people think that forgetting where they misplaced their keys is annoying but not remembering years of their life is just frustrating because you can't even remember the closes people in your lives. I have seemed to lose my keys and can't find them. 

The next morning, I decided to tell my parents I will be going out on my own. They fought with me for a while about it but they gave in. They know they can't keep me cooped up in the house forever until I regain my memories. I get the doctors said I have to keep a steady routine but all routines are broken. I didn't decide where to go. I only got dressed in some shorts, a pair of converse, and a blouse. Makeup was minimal but still there. I walked out and head to who knows where. I didn't think all the way through wit this. My mom gave me fifty bucks which again, made me feel like a kid, but I had no choice. I didn't want to walk too far from my house. Even though I know my neighborhood well enough, there is still this fear I just might forget it. I had decided to walk towards the local fleamarket, mostly bored but also wanting to just explore. The weather was nice out which I am thankful for.  I just threw on some clothes, not really caring about the weather. As I walked through the market, I began to become less bored and more interested in all the things being sold. There were so many things but with only fifty dollars, I didn't have much to spend. I just ended up buying a small moonstone necklace that only cost fifteen dollars. 

As I continued to walk around, I stopped at a stand that was serving these desserts that looked like fancy brownies. Even though I wasn't much of a chocolate person, the food looked really good. The lady behind the stand began to talk to me, telling me about the ingredients and how the chocolate isn't too harsh, so she ended up giving me a small sample. As I was about to purchase one of the oreo brownies, someone bumped into me. "Oh my god, I am sorry!" I heard. I turned around only to find a familiar face. "Ethan?" He looked at me and his eyes widen. "Willa! Oh my god, you're here." He says. I smiled, happy to see someone I actually know. Everyone I have met I don't know or can't remember. I actually remember Ethan though. From middle school and high school. Although he did date, Katy. I wonder if they are still dating. "How have you been? It's been a while!" I say to him. He smiled, his eyes were a bit confused. "Oh, yeah. Umm...it's been great. Can we actually move somewhere with less noise?" He says. I nod. I then purchase the brownie before we sit down at a nearby picnic area, people sitting around eating their food or just talking. "How have you been?" He asks, his voice full of concern. It confused me a bit. "I have been great. How are you and Katy? Gosh, so many things I have missed out on." I say. 

Ethan looks at me, his eyes dark green but his face morphed with debate. "Katy and I broke up a few years ago during college. Wasn't working out. I heard you had an accident. A really bad one." I rolled my eyes. I have been tired of talking about my accident. But I guess I have to tell him. "Yeah. I got into a an accident. Caused me to forget a good chunk of my memory. Last thing I do remember is me at college. Nothing else." He nods. He then clears his throat, straightening himself for settling down again. "So you don't remember anything from a few months ago?" I shake my head. "Nothing," I state without emotion. He nods again. "So you and Katy broke up?" We then began to talk, reminiscing everything. He told me about Katy and their break up and how he started a job at a big business firm, partnering with a very fancy firm. I felt nice talking to him. I felt normal for once because I could actually remember the things he was talking about. It felt like old friends catching up. We laughed and talked. Even so, while talking to him, I could tell he was battling with something. I wanted to ask him about it but it began to get late and he apparently needed to leave for work. 

"It was nice talking to you. I am so happy to see someone I actually know. We should catch up again!" I say. Ethan nods with a smile on his face. "I will text you. It was nice to catch up with you." He says. I nod, hugging him before he heads out. On my way home, I had a smile on my face. It was about time I felt normal for once. But then my eyebrows knitted together. He has my number?