𝑺𝒉𝒖𝒊𝒄𝒉𝒊'𝒔 𝑴𝒚𝒔𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒐𝒖𝒔 𝑰𝒍𝒍𝒏𝒆𝒔𝒔 (Pregame AU)

What to do........?

Kokichi POV:

As I was bathing, I took a deep breathe and let these thoughts go through and do nothing but to haunt the sh*t out of me and these memories are not as pleasant as they seem

I almost killed her, I wanted to kill her to show her that I'm only Shuichi boyfriend and she could never take him away from me not even any females could take him away from me for who I love

NEVER, I-i never want him to be taken to someone else I love him and I want him, I need him, I could be his and he can own me like I'm only his to show everyone that Shuichi is my boyfriend and that no one can date me

but I don't want him to leave me alone, I never want him to fall in love with someone else behind my back or I'll m-murder them but I don't want my heart to be broken again ever

'ha..." I laughed

"Haha...." I laughed again

a-am I going crazy? Is this what love could be when someone takes your and its never theirs, is this what I feel like when someone takes what's mine and that these people are just claiming someone's loved one to be theirs

I don't want to be a psycho and I don't want S-saihara to leave me in the damn dark and let these thoughts go through my mind. I-i don't want him to leave me like the other males in my other relationships

I don't want him to cheat on me and never be someone's boyfriend or girlfriend I want him to be mine.......m-mine?

"O-ouma" Shuichi said worried 

"H-huh..?" I looked and saw Shuichi

"S-saihara?" I replied not remembering what happened

"Ouma, don't scare the sh*t out of me.." Shuichi said in his worried tone

I didn't remember what happened? did my thoughts make me almost drowned myself and made Saihara be so worried about me

"I thought I losed you" Shuichi pulled me into a hug

"I-i'm sorry for scaring you Shuichi" I apologized

I was wearing a towel and I was wet and cold but Shuichi made me felt warm and felt safe in his arms, in his embrace was everything and Shuichi was worrying a lot and thought he lost me

"Lets get you changed" Shuichi said

I got up and got changed as Shuichi was looking away for me to have privacy and I knew he still cares deep inside his heart the Shuichi I knew in love

"I'm done" I said

Saihara turned around as he walked up to me and pulled me close to him as his hands were around my waist as I blushed at his action but also hugging him

"Ouma, is there something wrong that you want to tell me?" Shuichi asked

"No why?" I replied confused

"You almost killed yourself in the f*cking bathroom and It made me worried that you were thinking so deep into your thoughts" Shuichi explained

"I-its just I felt p-psycho and made me want to murder people, if you left me alone and date someone else.." I replied trying to explain what I feel

"Ouma, listen I'll never leave you and thinking of murdering someone would take your life in jail" He said

"I-i'm sorry I-i" I felt weak and I never want my life to be all broken again and all the life trama and childhood trama wasn't enough for me and everyone had left me without a reason, people left me because I'm not beautiful enough or that I'm just some wh*re that wants to be f*cked

but when someone takes the last thing I have from me is a lot more harder to live and, if someone took it from me I would take my life at risk like ending myself or just k!ll myself

"Shhh" Shuichi clamed me down

I was crying so pathetic and weak that I never had a chance to show the world that I am capable of anything in life Shuichi was there for me and that he worries about me even involving my health as well

But I guess I'm so weak that everyone could find a way to get rid of me so easily since I am their target and they know who is the target

I know Shuichi had a hard life living with his uncle and felt alone without me but he's strong and he showed the world that nobody should mess with him even after I left him he became more of  himself

but what am I? I'm just some sl*t that wants f*cking d*cks and only gets mark from Shuichi but then leaves me all behind for someone else who could be better then me that's all I am

Who can treat him with a lot of love and a lot of knowledge and could be better at cooking, learning and heck could be a better lover than me, Shuichi loves me for who I am but...

I guess Shuichi just cares for me just beacuse of the the looks and my own skinny body but maybe not my love and attention for him, not some sort of actual love romanic in those movie

I pushed Shuichi took a step back not wanting him to do anything to me and I didn't care cause I know he just loves me for the damn looks and my body. But is that what I think about?

"Ouma-?"

"Leave me alone, y-you just w-want my body a-and not because of my l-love and a-attention" I said crying and tears over-flowing from my eyes

"Ouma, thats not true who told you all of this...?" He said trying to handle the situation

I just ran away and didn't want him to f*cking leave me like the other girls that he dated and then made a whole mess out of them. Maybe these girls had maybe want to tell me that Shuichi was just a cheater

"Kokichi where are you going?!" Shuichi's uncle said

But I didn't replied and I ran away and ran as far as possible and my thoughts just ruining my damn brain but I think that was all true and I wasn't wearing any warm clothes or neither a jacket to keep me warm

Shuichi POV:

Ouma ran away and I tried to catch up to him but I couldn't and he ran from the front door and left and my uncle so confused, he didn't understand what's going on with Ouma

"Uncle, we have to chase after him" I said

"What the hell happen?" My uncle said confused

"There's no time to explain we have to chase after him as fast as we can" I said, I'm not letting Ouma go this time and I knew he over-thinked again but he never understand the real truth

My uncle and I went inside the car and chased after Ouma but then we couldn't find him anywhere and then I remembered that I put a tracking device in one of my hoodie

I opened up the app and saw the tracker signal and told my uncle were he could be but I never understand why he thinks that I'm using him for his body and looks. Is it because of my exes and how I left them and then moved on?

Even though that isn't true but maybe when he was over-thinking in his thoughts maybe that's where he got the idea of his head from. He really thinks that I would end our relationship for another person but really I won't

My uncle and I kept searching from the tracking device and the weather was very bad that it was raining heavily and Ouma could get sick from the weather, he wasn't wearing any pants but just shorts

We kept searching until the tracker signal was gone and I knew that the device isn't water proof so my uncle parked the car and I got my jacket and went outside to search for him

My uncle got out the car and got his umbrella and search as well to find Ouma and if he's safe or not and if he's injured or not either but I knew that he wouldn't be himself after he ran 

My uncle lost hope and told me that he would be inside the car and told me that I could search for him myself, he didn't want to get sick from the cold weather so it's reasonable why he didn't want to continue searching

I knew my hopes never goes down I knew that Ouma is here and I'll find him myself and take him home safely and make him know that he's more than that

Word count: 1408