Painful Desires || COMPLETED ✔️

Chapter 4

       Isa comes to my side lightly elbowing me as we set the table, "So...how's college?

"Meh," I shrug. "I think after freshman year It's gotten kinda boring, I already know what to expect: Sleep deprivation and a lot of stress."

"Really?" She taps her chin. "But don't you make more friends during sophomore year and..." She looks around before whispering, "Sex." As Lucas walks into the kitchen our wide eyes connect.

He dashes at her, grabbing her shoulders. "Who told you about that? You're too young to be having sex."

My mouth falls open and she scoffs with a hand on her hip, "I'm thirteen and have a phone. I'm not stupid."

He puffs out letting her go, "Good." He raises his thumb at me smiling in accomplishment.

"Only first base."

We gasp loudly, grabbing her and my mom walks in. "Que paso?" Her eyebrows wrinkle. "No les gusto?" She takes a wooden spoon dipping it into the large pot of Mole asking if we didn't like it.

"Esta bien delicioso," Lucas gives a thumbs up with his light and awkward accent and a tense smile.

"Ahh, Lucas," she pronounces his name as 'Loo-kas'. "Tu Español se a mejorado." She compliments his Spanish.

It means a lot to Lucas since he's constantly begging me to teach him new words after I taught him the curse words first. Once in high school, he paid me five dollars for every Spanish word I taught him, he wanted to impress a girl who turned out to be my cousin.

      The white front door creaks open as I step onto the front porch, Chrisitians head snaps to me with his hand in his pocket.

"Oh. Thought you were mom," he chuckles pulling a vape from his pocket.

I shake my head feigning disappointment, "You shouldn't be doing that, it's bad for your health." I take a similar stick out of my back pocket inhaling the sweet-minty flavor and he hits my shoulder

"When'd you start?" He hits his vape as I sit down in the cushioned chair beside him.

"About a month into my freshman year."

"Mm," he shakes his head. "Stressful, huh?"

I nod.

"I can't believe I'm almost thirty and still hiding this from mom," he takes a long drag and blows out something minty.

"She would kill us," I mumble. "I'm more scared of her finding out about this than I was coming out to her. Which is saying something."

"True." He leans back in his rocking chair looking out onto the field, lightly pushing the hard wooden panels with the toe of his shoe. "How is school? Is it better than last year?" I hear a sublet hint of sympathy and the memory of our conversation after coming home from my first semester. My mental health had taken a toll, I was irritated with every little thing.

Christian reminded me of my priorities and helped me clear my mind so that I wouldn't drop out. He told me if he hadn't needed to help our mom take care of the household then he would have gone to become a doctor.

He helps me more than I want to admit, he's my older brother but he's always been like a father figures growing up. This is why I didn't tell him that it was mostly about Lucas not speaking to me in over two weeks being busy with his girlfriend.

"I'm moving in with Lucas," I tell him and he arches his eyebrow. "My dorm roommate is so messy," I shudder, Leon's dirty laundry and fast food wrappers packed under his bed haunt me.

"I'm just hoping he doesn't get tired of me," I say almost sheepishly. We've never actually lived together, sure he would sleep over often, but that was before. Before I realized my feelings for him wouldn't go away, instead they wanted more.

"Finally!" He laughs, "I thought you'd never make a move."

My eyebrows shoot up and my entire body freezes, he gives me a look before rolling his eyes. He knows. He knows.

The door creaks open and our hands go in our pockets. "I could never get tired of you," Lucas smiles--his smile, a charming smile that made others want to copy it. He plops down on the rocking bench and it lightly sways, "I promise."

Christian lightly shoves my shoulder and my eyes widen at the amusement in his eyes, I jump up at the sound of a car in our driveway coming like a Knight to save me. I practically sprint to the car, thankfully the hot weather camouflaging an obvious blush.

Ava steps out of the car with a bright smile to hug me. "You look gorgeous," I pulled back to look at her two long braids with ribbons on the ends.

"Thank you, honey," she gives a quick spin in her orange sundress that darkens her brown skin angelically. I was always envious of how clear and naturally beautiful her skin is and that she doesn't need any makeup.

"Arlo?!" I hear in the back seat and I hurry to unfasten Joseph from his car seat, he wraps his little arms around my neck.

"Look, look," he points to his scraped elbow.

"Ai papi, que passo?!" I gasp faking a worried expression.

"I fell and mommy had to take me to the hospital," he said. I turn to see Christian giving his wife a peck on the lips.

"Doc Mcstuffins," they whisper.

"Ohh." I look at Joseph, pouting my lip, "Did you cry?"

He shakes his head with a small smile, Ava holds up two fingers, "Two ice cream sandwiches, two new toys, and two nights of ten kisses... each."

I stifled a laugh, It probably wasn't a good idea to spoil him so much when I would babysit.

      We all settled into our seats at the dark-wooded dinner table, with my mom and Christian at the ends.

"Mmm," Lucas wipes the corner of his mouth. "I have missed your cooking mama Lora," he takes another spoon full of rice and the red Mole sauce. One of the first dinners he had with us, he couldn't stop drinking water and now he serves himself seconds.

"Gracias Hijo," my mom smiles widely, she's always treated him like another son.

"Uh, donde esta tu...esp..." his eyebrows slightly crease, and he turns to me. Most non-Spanish-speaking people would sound stupid or racist when trying to speak Spanish, except him. He refuses to sound out the words wrongly even if it means saying them slowly.

"Esposo," I smile at him feeling my heart blossom.