Painful Desires || COMPLETED ✔️

Chapter 6

      "Excuse me?!"

"You know why I'd rather spend time with my bestest friend Arlo...?"

"Are you drunk?"

"It's because I enjoy it. He's such a good person, with a good heart and family. He doesn't take advantage of my kindness like you, because you are...you are so mean," he sniffs and I look to see tears falling perfectly from his eyes. I lean forward wanting to wipe them.

He looks at his lap with the deepest frown, "I loved you. I did," he covers his eyes with his hands, trying to control his conflicting emotions. "We should have never gotten back together Li Mei, we're no good."

"Lucas, you're drunk. Sweetie, let's talk about this when you get back."

"No!" He hits his thigh, a sob breaking through and I feel my heart break with his sadness, I'd do anything to take it away.

"We're broken, we're...I'm breaking up with you. For real this time."

"Honey, you don't mean that," she says and I can imagine her rolling her eyes.

"Yes, yes I do because I'm blocking your number, and-and I'm changing my Netflix password."

She scoffs in annoyance, "You'll be back."

Lucas looks at me with wide eyes and a quivering bottom lip and I snatch his phone from his hands.

"You manipulative little bitch, you stay away from him. He doesn't want you, do you hear me? You narcissistic, toxic, five-two--!"

"I should have known! You're trying to take him from me, arent you? Homewrecker."

I look up at his red teary eyes and I feel myself hesitate, but right now I don't care.

"He's always been mine," I hang up.

      Chrisitan throws Lucas's arm over his shoulder and grabs his waist. "How did he get like this?"

I glance through the window to see everyone in the living room, we step inside holding him up.

Lucas mumbles something about wanting to say, "Hi" to Manuel and Christian shushes him. We wait until we hear Isa distracting them with talks about getting matching tattoos with her friends before we step in.

"I told her," he burps slurring his words and I cover his mouth trying to get him to pick his feet up on the stairs. We don't want my mom to find out, she's still under the impression that we've never gotten drunk.

I trip on a step and Christian keeps Lucas standing, we make it to my bedroom and drop him on the bed.

"What happened?" Chrisitan says breathlessly and I can tell his wife's margaritas have gotten to him too.

"He broke up with her!" I whisper-yell and he backs up wiping his face.

"Again?"

I nod, "For real this time."

He grips my shoulder and the pressure makes me feel nauseous, "You need to tell him how you feel before he runs back to her."

"No, what?" I shake my head shoving his hands off me which made us both sway. "He's my best friend. A brother, one of us."

He shakes his head, "No he isn't. To me, yes, but to you no."

We hold our breaths as Lucas flips on his stomach nuzzling into his pillow.

"It's okay to admit it. It's okay to like him."

Sighing I sit on the bed and he follows, his side dipping under his weight.

"You should tell him."

We sit like this for a few seconds, he looks at me in a way that makes me feel like his little brother.

"What if...what if he doesn't and I..." I feel a sort of sadness creeping in with desperation and confusion.

"You need to be brave." He used these same words when I came out to him. He told me to be brave and proud of who I am and that no matter what our mom says, he'll always support me.

"But what if I lose him? I can't lose him."

He takes my shoulder once again, "You can't suffer because you're afraid of what might happen." He offers me a sad smile, and he stands up and leaves after my eyes drift to the floor in silence.

I stare out the curtainless window, the crescent moon shines through angelically brightening his face. With the tip of my finger, I gently move his dark strand off his eyes to touch the beauty mark on his temple with the pad of my thumb.

Closing my eyes I lean in hovering over it, we're in two completely different worlds. I'm his "bestest friend Arlo", but he's my everything.

That's why I haven't moved in with him, it hurts to be so close to him and yet so far apart. I can't touch or kiss him the way that I want to.

Leaning back I look at his slightly parted lips feeling tears in my eyes and I turn away.

I make sure to place a pillow between us before laying down, It feels wrong looking at him this way. Turning on my side I cuddle into the pillow tucking his hair behind his ear, he's just...perfect. Closing my eyes I gently caress his cheekbone with my thumb as I give into the drunken darkness.

      Stretching, I pat the empty spot beside me and I prop myself on my elbows looking at my half-naked body.

 Some time through the night I struggled to take my clothes off, Lucas shoved me, and eventually, we were both struggling to pull my shirt off. I'm just hoping I didn't look too eager when his fingers wrestled with my belt and zipper, all I remember was biting my lip.

Walking downstairs, I hear conversation and dishes being moved around. Light music playing in the background to my moms' throwback cumbia Spanish songs.

I hear Manuel's deep chuckles following something Lucas said who stands on the side of the stove while Manuel stirs something in a pot. My mom is sitting at the island table skimming through the mail of envelopes as she admires her husband from behind, as she should.

"Morning ma," I kiss her cheek and she gently pats mine.

I go to pat Manuel on the back but he brings me in for a bear hug. "You're almost as big as me," he laughs touching my bicep. I try to flex but his muscular arms look like mountains beside mine.

"How've you been? How's school?"

"It's good, you know busy with classes and stuff," I shrug not wanting to think about returning to classes. I narrow my eyes at a smiling Lucas.

"Are you...flipping tortillas?"

"Where's mine?" He blows up the side of his cheek, pointing at it.