Painful Desires || COMPLETED ✔️

Chapter 16

     I sip on my iced coffee, "You left me last night." I keep eye contact with his dark brown eyes.

"I truly apologize," his eyebrows crease apologetically. "It was my sister, she got into it with another Stud. It was stupid and I never should have let you, but I had to have her back."

"Oh, well. In that case, you're partially forgiven."

"Partially?"

"Yes. You'll have to make it up to me with a date. An actual date."

"And this isn't a date?"

"Darling this is a twenty-minute coffee break between classes. I want flowers and chocolates."

He chuckles deeply, showing his dimples. "You're bossy. I like it."

I raise a brow. "Then don't be surprised when It's you being bent over," I whisper with a quick wink.

"You're...not a bottom?" He leans back in his chair.

"I'm a verse. A switch." I narrow my eyes and he glances away in thought.

"Oh. Okay."

      He picks me up Saturday afternoon with a bouquet of colorful flowers and a heart-shaped chocolate box. I didn't actually think he was going to buy them.

"Are you ready to order?" A middle-aged Hispanic man asks with a thick accent, he places a small bowl of queso and tortilla chips in the middle of the table.

"Si, el pollo con queso por favor. Y para él, el número seis." I point at the menu and he jots everything down.

"Algo mas?"

"No, eso es todo. Gracias," I hand him our menus and Marcus smiles widely at me. He dips the tip of his tortilla chip into the queso.

"What?"

"You're so sexy." He whispers leaning in.

"I know," I smile. "Thank you."

"So, why this restaurant?"

"I'm half-Dominican and I love my mom's cooking, but since there isn't a place nearby, this is the best next thing."

"I didn't know you were Dominican, does that mean you hate spicy food?"

He chuckles, "Not you stereotyping."

"I didn't mean it like that," I half-chuckle. "It's because the meal you ordered is spicy."

"I'm good with spicy," he shrugs. "Plus, there's nothing wrong with a little pain," he hints at something else.

"No, there isn't." I try holding back a smile.

He sits back in the cushions of the booth, "Unfortunately, I can't speak or quite understand it," he frowns.

"That's okay, most of our generation talks Spanglish anyways. I'm lucky my mom made it my first language. Now it's the other way around, we're teaching her English."

"I can hear the accent when you ordered. It's cute."

Once our meals arrived we continued talking about our life. I learned the reason for his becoming an Architect is because he used to be obsessed with Minecraft. I told him that I want to pursue a career in Criminal Justice and he was surprised but supportive.

      Our interlocked fingers swing back and forth as we walk down Leyland Park, I kick a little pebble and it bounces off a park bench.

"What are your views on life?" He asks me.

"Oh wow, well. I think...life is cruel, humans, society, politics, all of it. We should be taking care of the planet not killing it. "

"That's deep."

"I just feel like life is such a scam, you know? I'd honestly rather be living in a village and growing my own food."

"Mm," he shrugs. "I think society makes life like an eighty-year-long job contract. In reality, all we have to do is stop being sheep."

"Right. You get it."

We walk to an Ice Cream cart and order two waffle cons, Oreo for me and Vanilla-chocolate swirl for him.

"It's all about taking control of your life which is something said way too often that people don't see the true meaning of it."

I take a bite of my Ice Cream, "And what's the true meaning?"

"Always putting yourself first, even if it seems selfish. Growing up we're taught not to take advantage of others and the ideology works well when you're trying to discipline a teenager, but you should be taking advantage. It's everyone for themselves."

"Wow," I chuckle.

"What?" He looks sheepish.

"Who hurt you?"

"The philosophy class I dropped out of."

"Philosophy huh?"

"Yep. The answers of life and all that."

I lift a brow, nobody takes a Philosophy class if they haven't had an existential crisis.

"Then I went back to ignoring my problems..."

"And that's why we're doomed."

"And that's how people keep sane."

His words hit me, that's exactly what Lucas and I are doing by pretending it didn't happen. I begged for us to forget because it hurts too much knowing that he will never feel the way that I do.

I would always jokingly suggest Lucas experiment and explore his sexuality before, and I guess now he did.

Marcus lightly shoves my shoulder.

"Hmm?" I look up at him.

"You kinda spaced out."

"Sorry."

After we kissed goodnight and may have done a little more than kissing, I left for my apartment. He wanted me to come over tonight, but I didn't feel quite ready to.

      Flashes illuminate the living room with sounds of gunfire as I enter my apartment, I find Lucas in front of the TV.

"Bestie!" He smiles widely and my heart quickens at the word.

"Yes...?"

"Join me," he pats the spot beside him, I can see the stain from last year's pumpkin pie. "I got beer." He drinks the last sip of his empty bottle, placing it back in a twelve-pack on the floor.

"Sure," I sit beside him and he hands me a beer. "What are we watching?"

"The Walking Dead, it's kinda scary. I'll probably sleep with a light on..." He stares wide-eyed as a Zombie ripped apart a human. I glance at the beers, there's only one left.

"So how was your day?"

"Okay," he shrugs staring at the mangled bodies. "Class wasn't too much."

He leans back on the sofa, sitting crisscrossed.

"I think I finally get why you all hate her," he says after a couple of minutes. I hold back an eye roll, what did she do to him this time?

"Did she say something to you? Is that why you're drinking?"

"No." He pouts, "Well, yes but I'm not telling you."

"Tell me."

"Don't. Because If you ask me again I will tell you and I don't want to." His eyes are set in a glare with a pout on his lips. I think he's trying to look intimidating, but all I see is how cute his plump lips look.