Painful Desires || COMPLETED ✔️

Chapter 17

      "Okay," I hide my smile taking a swing from my beer.

"How did--" he hiccups. "How did the date go?"

"It was...nice." I throw my arm over the sofa. "I think I might like him."

"Is that my shirt?" He points to the loose olive green button-up shirt I toke from his closet a while back.

"Yeah...It goes with the shoes," I stand to show him. "Sorry I didn't ask."

He moves closer to me and I think he's about to argue but he smiles with half-lidded eyes. "It suits you, it looks good. Take it, you don't even have to ask, just bring them back to me. I hate shopping."

"Okay," I nod satisfied.

An hour later I'm waking up to a racing heartbeat and the sounds of gunfire blasting from the T.V. . I click the remote turning off a weird battle between hoards of Zombies against a couple of humans, how is that rational?

Lucas groans beside me at my movement, I take his head resting on my shoulder and lay it down.

"Lucas," I whisper poking his shoulder and his arms go to cuddle into the cushions. "You need to go to bed."

He grumbles trying to turn on his stomach, "Take me."

"Um..." I chuckle and his eyes half-open cracking a smile.

"Come on, if you sleep on the sofa you'll wake up angry." I take his hand and he curls up instead.

"I'm too tired," he mumbles and a couple of secounds later he's asleep.

Kneeling down beside him I try fixing the pillows around him only to find myself stroking his hair. I move a strand off his face, he's as pretty as he is handsome.

I lightly trace his face with my pointer finger from his forehead, nose, and lips--they're so soft.

"Beautiful," I whisper.

I sigh dropping my forehead on the seat cushion, he's the reason why I'm not ready to be with Marcus. I need to let him go, but something isn't letting me. I'm not ready to.

A couple of minutes pass by until I gain the courage to stand up with a heavy heart and he catches my hand.

"Sleep with me," he whispers looking up at me with hooded eyes.

"I...don't think it's a good idea."

"But we do it all the time."

I softly rub the back of his hand with the pad of my thumb and he looks at it, I would love nothing more than to kiss his knuckles and say yes. Yes, I'll climb in beside you and end up under you so we can fit and I'd be happy, but that isn't real. The reality is he doesn't love me as I love him, and my fantasy...well, it's just that. Fantasy.

I place his hand on his chest, "I know, but we can't anymore."

"Oh." He frowns. "Okay," he turns facing away from me.

      After my first two classes and my routine contemplation of dropping out, I met Marcus at the University's gym. It's not as spacious as I'd like but it's enough to motivate and keep me going.

"I'll spot you," I nod to the bench and he raises a brow.

"You sure you can handle it?" He lies back and positions his hands on the bar, his shorts riding up as he widens his legs.

"I'm sure," I smirk standing over him, If I were to sit down I would practically be straddling him.

"Should we have lunch?"

He puffs every time he pushes the bar up from his chest, his arms tremble a little and he tries to smile. "Or we could do something else?" He places the bar back into its clutch smiling, poking the tip of his tongue out he grabs my hips pulling me down on him.

"Or we could do both," I whisper kissing his lips. His hands slide up and down my back and I feel him wanting to go under the hem of my shorts. He pokes the tip of his tongue in my mouth and we laugh, last time we got too carried away and almost got kicked out.

Someone clears their throat behind us and we separate wide-eyed, he places his hand over my head so I wouldn't hit myself on the bar.

"Lucas?!"

Lucas is standing in a wide stance, looking at Marcus who's covering his lower half with his gym bag.

"When did you start coming to the gym?"

"Today actually." He crosses his arms looking around, he points to a machine a couple of feet away. "I came to do that."

"Oh, you want to grow your ass? That's great."

"Hey," Marcus offers his hand. "I'm Marcus, his...friend."

Lucas shakes it firmly, "Lucas, his best friend of six years."

"Hm," Marcus slaps his hand away and I look at him oddly.

"Are those my shorts?" I point at the black mid-thigh shorts that show off his light tan line.

He chuckles looking down at them, "Yeah. I didn't have anything to wear."

"They look good, you should keep them. I have like six more pairs."

"Great," Marcus takes my hand turning to me. "We have a lunch date to get to."

Marcus grips my hand tighter as we walk to the food court, his brown coily hair bouncing with every step.

"Is something bothering you?"

He sighs turning around. "Who is that guy?"

"Who? Lucas? He's my friend, my roommate."

"Is that all? Their nothing else going on?"

I let out a short chuckle reaching out to him, he steps away crossing his arms and clenching his jaw.

"Marcus, are you jealous?"

"No."

"Marcus..."

"I hate cheating," his eyebrows narrow. "My ex cheated on me and it..." He breathes out. "If there's something going on between the two of you just tell me. I don't want to get hurt again."

"Babe," I take his hand. "He's my best friend, my roommate and he's straight, okay?"

He narrows his eyes looking away.

"Are you seriously jealous?"

"No. I'm concerned."

"Insecure."

"No."

"Don't worry, it makes you ten times hotter." I kiss his lips and he kisses back with an eye-roll.

"Babe huh?"

I nod, giving him another kiss. "Yes, my babe."

"No. Boyfriend." He whispers against my lips making my heart flutter, it's different from all the time I felt around Lucas. This one feels good, it feels safe and secure.