Painful Desires || COMPLETED ✔️

Chapter 13

      I squeeze my knees together looking away from him, his attention weirdly making me want to pee even more.

"I need to pee...."

My bladder feels like it's going to explode as he makes a sharp turn into a Gas Station. After relieving myself I try fixing my frizzy hair in the cracked mirror, but I end up looking like a mushroom.

Maybe this is for the best, pretending that it didn't happen.

I slide my hand down my chest, pretending that I didn't have his nipple in my mouth. My hand slides lower, pretending that he didn't buck his hips against mine, that he didn't moan into my mouth when I sucked on the tip of his tongue, his jaw, and shoulders.

My eyes start to close biting my lips, I pull my hand away from my pants shaking my head with a deep breath.

"What took you so long?" His eyebrows narrow and I'm surprised he's not ignoring me anymore.

"I had to pee, man." I settle into my seat glancing at the hickey I left between his neck and shoulder. I can see my teeth mark on his red skin, I swallow looking away at the sight of a smaller and lighter one beside it.

"So..." I clear my throat. "You still cool with me moving in?"

He shrugs, "Yeah. I'll only be there for three months."

After graduation he wasn't leaving, he said he'd live there for at least another year until he figured out his plans. I guess he made up his mind.

"How did it go with your parents?" I ask cautiously.

"It went how it always goes."

      Dropping my box on the floor labeled 'my shit' I ignore the sound of something breaking and turn to Lucas. He pushes my small dresser through the front door, sweat glistening on his forehead. 

 He gives one last push and falls to the floor slowly. "Why so...heavy?" He says breathlessly.

I chug a glass of water, I used to come over to his apartment, but living here makes it different. More intimate.

"That's it, right? No more?"

"You're such a weakling," I chuckle at his desperation on the floor.

"You're weak." He shoots back.

I spend the rest of the afternoon settling in, I don't have much but essentials.

I'm thankful Kevin--his last roommate left his small double-sized mattress. I made sure to clean it remembering his very pregnant girlfriend.

       Two weeks pass with an uncomfortable and quite awkward silence. I didn't see him most days, if he wasn't in class he was in his room. Occasionally he'll come out smelling expensive, throwing a, "I'm not coming home tonight." or "Leave the kitchen light on for me." Behind his shoulder.

When I try and make conversation he kills it, when I bring up Marcus he doesn't say anything, but yesterday he cooked. I was surprised when I saw a plate on the countertop.

We haven't talked about it and it's killing me, should I be the one to bring it up?

Unlocking the front door of my apartment I glance at the back of his head, he's watching Grey's Anatomy again.

I place a bag of Maggiano's Italian takeout food from the restaurant across the street.

"Did you have class today?" I say but it comes out more of a mumble, why bother asking if he won't even look at me?

I glance up hearing the show pause, he blinks at me. "Hm?"

"Um...Come eat." I think it sounded more like a question.

He slowly stands up from the white sofa, almost cautiously looking at the food on the island table. He plops down on the white stool, drumming his fingers on the table and avoiding my gaze.

I take out his box, sliding it between his hands and his fingers stop. He presses his lips together, glancing at me and I lightly tilt my head. A familiar feeling swells in my chest at his actions, he's so cute.

I smile at myself hearing him open it as I walk into my room.

I spray an androgynous perfume on the back of my neck and wrists, before walking into the living room to look at myself through the large mirror. Lucas looks up at me from the sofa, slurring up noodles.

"I'm probably not coming home tonight," I turn side to side, making sure my outfit slays.

"Where are you going?"

"To the club with Marcus and his sister." I go into the cupboards take out a bottle of tequila and pour myself two shots.

"How do I look?" I half-turn.

His gaze glides up from my leather pants which showed my defined legs, to my butterfly mesh black crop top and my necklace. His eyes meet mine with an expression I couldn't quite understand.

"You look you know," he shrugs glancing back at the T.V. and I squint at him. "You look fine," He turns his attention to his show.

"I look more than fine," I mumble standing in front of the mirror. I roll my eyes at my expectations, I don't want his lack of words and attention to affect me.

"Is he picking you up?"

"Yep."

He gives a slow nod and my phone vibrates.

I'm here baby, are you ready?

My eyes shift up to Lucas and he glances at my phone and then at me.

"He's here," I tell him and I don't know if it sounded more of a statement or a question.

He swallows looking down at his bowl of spaghetti, "Okay."

I spin on my heels holding back a scoff and heading for the door.

"Call me...if you need anything?" His voice makes me halt, I nod not looking back.