Painful Desires || COMPLETED ✔️

Chapter 10

     "What? Oh my god! That's amazing." I sit up to hug her, then plop down feeling dizzy. "I'm fine. So she's the one?"

"Yes." She nods eagerly.

"Um..." Lucas purses his lips and Marisol looks at him with narrowing eyes. "You're only twenty, barely starting life. Do you really want to be tied down to her for the rest of your life?"

She punches his shoulder, "You think too much."

"Or you think too little."

She softly glares at him, "Look. She makes me happy, we're happy. We've been together for a year now and I'll wait till she's done with Nursing School of course," she breathes an excited laugh. "But soon, probably on a trip somewhere, throw in some romance, chocolate, and sex. Maybe even a dog. Oh...what if she says no?"

"She won't," I place my hand on her knee. "Something--someone that makes you feel like that is rare.

"Don't ever let her go," Lucas says with a new profound supportiveness. He looks almost sad, and Marisol and I exchange looks.

"Don't think too much about Li Mei," she pats his shoulder. "You deserve so much better."

"I guess..."

"For such a smart guy you're such an idiot," she rolls her eyes. "First learn your worth then open your eyes and see what you've been missing."

Her phone vibrates and a photo of her and Fiona kissing pops up, they're in Halloween costumes as Tinker Bell and Peter Pan. Marisol is wearing the green suit jacket she once made fun of me for wearing.

She sends Fiona a quick text before taking both our hands, "I'm happy, and I want you guys to be happy too. I know we used to be sad and struggling with our mental health, but look at me. I used to be a whore like Lucas..."

Lucas sucks his teeth.

"And a sensitive-scared-of-love bitch like Arlo."

"Oh, come on."

"But, I'm in such a great place right now. I love you guys no matter what," she sighs with a smile.

"I'll expect a bachelorette party from my bridesmaids," she smiles at us before jumping off the bed at another phone call from Fiona.

"Let's all grab lunch tomorrow before you leave."

We say bye and she closes the door behind her.

"Wow...Mari getting married. Being committed."

We look at each other, "It's weird." I chuckle half-heartedly. The last time she was committed she ended up being deeply hurt, it took her years and many people afterward to get over her first girlfriend.

"She does seem happier though, more in tune with herself."

"Like a hippy."

He lightly shoves me, "Now go shower before you stink up the bed." He pushes me with his feet and I slowly roll off the bed in a slow and dramatic motion.

"And don't get your wrist wet," He yawns, laying back and burying his hands under his pillow.

"Aren't you going to help me?" I lift my eyebrow looking down at him with a coy smile.

He opens one eye, "You wish." He says with a lopsided grin.

      Flipping off the light switch my body drags as I settle into my side of the bed, bringing the light blanket to my waist.

Lucas turns his face to me, surprising me. "I think I'm going to visit my parents tomorrow, what do you think?" His voice is quiet, he sounds like he's been thinking about this for a while now.

"I think that's up to you." I turn my body towards him squinting to see him through the darkness, thankfully the moonlight gives a soft light. "How long has it been?"

"A year."

"Oh, and you still don't want to? It's okay if you don't."

Silence answers me and I lean in closer to see him biting his lip and staring at me blankly. He sighs, tucking his hand into his pillow, and turning his body towards me.

"Mm, I feel like...all they ever want to talk about are my failures. Did I ever tell you they somehow have access to my grades? And that they talk to my professors?"

I shake my head and he sighs again, "The pressure to be like them, to be better. I can't. I feel stressed all the time, not to mention their need to set me up with the "Perfect girl."

"They set you up on dates?"

He nods, "Yeah, and most of these girls are religious and following their own parent's wishes. Setting up dates with their friend's daughters is such an Asian stereotype." He rolls his eyes, mumbling the last part.

"And you go on these dates?"

"It gets them off my back."

His parents are very wealthy, and like many wealthy and public-focused people, they only care about appearances.

 I think that's why Lucas likes to keep that side of him hidden from others. They only want to see him with people of his own status that's why when I met them they looked at me like a stray dog their son took pity on. The only reason we were in the same neighborhood six years ago was that their company declined, and that's when Lucas had it the worst.

He took me to his house once, I shook his parent's hand and I could tell they looked down on me. It wasn't because they were racist, yes I asked them.

It was because when they asked about my family business and what my father does my fifteen-year-old self responded, "Ask him for me if you see him. He went to grab a twelve-pack and never came back." Which earned a scowl from his mother and a laugh from Lucas. 

I was angry for how they treated him and I still am. I never saw them since which I'm glad for.

His eyes cast down and I gently take his chin between my fingers, "Don't let them control you." I repeat what I've told him countless times.

"I know, but..." He sighs, his lips twitching downwards. "How can I be twenty-one and still craving their approval? I'm so pathetic." He closes his eyes with creasing eyebrows.

Sliding my hand to his cheek, rubbing his cheekbone with the pad of my thumb, he leans into it looking so sad.

My eyes softly close leaning in, I want to take his pain away.