My lovely lady May

"Let you down"

Nine years ago,
Yellowstone Dutton Ranch

May danced around the barn in sunglasses and a random hat she found. The music couldn't be loud but that didn't stop her from having her own little dance party, she mouthed the words to the song using a beer bottle as a microphone. It was May's idea to steal some beer from the bunkhouse while the cowboys were out, and Luke would do whatever May did. "I think you've had enough" Luke laughed. "What do you mean? You drank more than me, I think you had enough" she laughed sitting down next to him. He pulled her in for a kiss, and as soon as he pulled away she smiled, "I like kissing you"
"Oh wow, you really are drunk" he laughed, "nope, it's the truth. Sober words- wait no, drunk- wait-"
"Drunk words are sober thoughts?" He laughed again, "Yup that's it"
"I love you" he chuckled, May sat up and turned to face him, "and I'm not just saying that. May I love you"
"I love you too."

After a couple of days, Kayce became Livestock commissioner and moved his family to the ranch. May has been so busy with work and with conflicting schedules she's only seen Ryan in passing.
"Just a heads up, we have an EMT  student ride along for the rest of the week" Andy said while May did an equipment check. "Great, that's just more paperwork for me when they fuck up somehow" she laughed.

A little later, May, Andy, and their EMT student Mike, were sitting in the rig waiting for a call. "So how'd your date with Ryan go?" Andy asked, "oh yeah, I forgot you knew about that. It was great, he has a huge dick" she joked, "Jesus May! Wait, oh my god, you slept with him?"
"Yup" she said eating a handful of corn nuts, "in a field"
"In a field? In the middle of October? Weren't you cold?"
"Not for long" she said laughing, "disgusting" he said snatching her corn nuts. Mike poked his head through the cab window, "who's Ryan?"
"Mind your fucking business basic" May said, "you're the one who told me if I didn't know something, ask questions." They were interrupted by dispatch giving them a call, "14 year old male, fell off a horse and broke his arm" Andy said starting the rig. "Alright basic, try to act like this isn't your first call" she said buckling up. When they got to the scene they saw a young man writhing in pain on the ground with his forearm completely snapped in half and an older man standing next to him. "Gee I wonder who our patient is" May joked, "alright Mike, stabilize the arm. May push morphine." Mike starts splinting the arm, "woah what are you doing? CSM's first, come on basic you've done this before"
"Yeah, In practice. With someone who didn't actually have a broken arm" he said panicked,
"What?!" The patient exclaimed,
"Okay well he didn't need to know that" she mumbled, "move!" They finished up the call and headed back to the station. "Hey! Don't be too hard on yourself, it was your first call it was guaranteed to be a shit show"
"Was your first call a shit show?"
"Well no, I didn't freak out my patient and I sure as hell don't forget CSM's but you know, we all start somewhere, Nobody has this job all figured out by the first day."
"How do you stay calm?"
"Well you do this long enough you tend to get used to it. But don't get me wrong in the beginning I was freaking the fuck out too, it's human nature, you just can't show it. It's okay to be afraid just don't blindly panic so much that you can't do your job properly and definitely don't let your patient know you're afraid. So, basically Just fake it til you make it."

They stopped for lunch on the way back. As they walked out of the restaurant May stopped in her tracks. Her stomach dropped, she was completely frozen, "Luke?" Was all she could manage to say while face to face with her first love. He just stood confused, even though May looked almost completely the same, he didn't recognize her at first, she was different than the girl he knew. They both stared for a second when their radios went off, "May we gotta go" Andy said. As May walked away they both didn't say anything, but they didn't break eye contact until she got into the Rig. May sat there in shock, "there no way that was him. Luke's dead, Luke died, he's supposed to be dead" she thought to herself. "You mind telling me what that was about?" Andy asked, Her head was spinning, she felt like she was going to throw up. "Hey! Are able to do this right now or do I tell them to send another unit!?"
"No, I'm fine." Everything was still blurry, she was shaking, and on the verge of tears. "Unknown aged Male in cardiac arrest, CPR in progress." May knew she had to calm herself down before she got there, she took a deep breath and shoved every single emotion down until she went numb.