𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙈𝙤𝙤𝙣𝙡𝙞𝙜𝙝𝙩. || TsukiYama/KeiDashi

23

trigger warning for this chapter, a lot of mentions on ways to commit. stay safe.

--------------

Kei Tsukishima's PoV.

-

"Yama?" I called out to him. Yama turned around and I could see the blush on his cheeks. His smile makes my heart flutter.

"Tsukki!" He ran towards me and I could hear my heart beating.

"Tsukki, do you want to go to the park?"

I smile, nodding my head.

"Sure, Yama."

I reach out to hold his hand but before I could touch him, everything starts to go out of control and colors were everywhere. Yama started to melt and everything in the background is doing the same. I turn around repeatedly to see everything going out of place and glitches everywhere.

I look down, feeling overwhelmed by everything. Then, as if I teleported, got onto a rooftop. I wasn't able to tell what the building is, everything was a mess. Yama appeared in front of me out of nowhere and it looks like he's getting ready to jump.

I tried to shout but nothing was able to come out. Yama was very close to the edge and I couldn't do anything. Yama jumped and I got teleported somewhere else.

I was in his room now. A rope tied into a noose hung from the ceiling and there was a chair below it. Yama glitches onto the chair in fetal position. He stood up and made his way to stand on the chair. With glitches surrounding him, he put his head in the noose. He kicked the chair and I got teleported somewhere again.

I didn't even have enough time to react to him stabbing himself.

I was in a forest now. I could see belongings from other people in this place. Is this the Suicide Forest? Aokigahara? I've heard about this forest. It's associated with suicide.

Yama poured what seem to be gasoline all over him and he pulled out a lighter. He shouldn't be doing this, he'll start a forest fire. But I can't do anything. I can't move. I can't speak. I can't feel.

Yama started a fire and before he set himself and the whole forest in flames, I got teleported somewhere again.

This kept on repeating. I would see Yama almost kill himself in different ways and I won't be able to do anything.

He would shoot himself, get electrocuted, overdose, beat himself up, get crushed, poison himself, suffocate himself, drown himself, stand on train tracks, have something heavy fall on him.

I got teleported to a bridge now, but, this feels familiar...and also different. I was finally able to move now and everything didn't feel numb. Tears were running down my face as I ran to make my way to Yama. I was shouting his name but he wouldn't acknowledge me.

I was running for what feels like forever before I finally got to him. I latch onto him as soon as he jumps off the bridge.

"Yama-"

As soon as I felt the water, everything was gone and Yama was standing in front of me, looking at me like how he normally would.

"C'mon!"

Yama said to me before skipping on the sidewalk.

-

I slowly wake up, seeing Tadashi in my arms snoring quietly, which gave me comfort and made me forget about everything, until it didn't.

I felt a tear slip out of my eye as I slightly tighten the arms I have around Tadashi. I fidgeted with Tadashi's hair to calm myself down, as I always do.

I don't know what time it is, but it's probably morning. There's no school today, thank god. Remembering that made me feel better.

--------------

"Tsukki, can you help me with the English homework?"

I glance to the side, seeing Tadashi looking at me.

"Sure,"

I smile.

"I kind of forgot there was English homework, though."

Tadashi laughed.

"It's okay, I'll explain to you what it's supposed to be. You always finish the work at school."

Tadashi and I stayed silent for a bit before he spoke up again.

"Tsukki, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Can you... Can you tell me how I killed myself in your dream?"

I didn't expect him to ask that.

"Don't tell me you're gonna try and kill yourself again."

"No- no! I'm just curious."

"Good, you know how messed up we'll be if you do."

"... Well, can you?"

...

'Do I really want him to know?'

I sigh, shaking my head.

"Oh, okay then."

"I just don't want you to be in that situation again."

"I already pinky promised you that I'm fine."

"Yeah, but that was before you were admitted to the hospital. You broke that promise already."

"Okay then, I'll make that promise again."

I put my pinky finger up,

"Pinky promise you'll be fine?"

Tadashi smiled.

"I pinky promise."