Chapter 24: Octavia
I wipe the tears quickly from my face so no one sees them, and set off to find Lincoln. Smoke still rises from inside the lair, and knots twist in my stomach - I'm the one who blinded those grounders, I'm the one that forced their death. And now possibly Lincoln's.
"Lincoln!" I call out, my voice cracking.
There's just silence; the only thing I can hear is my own heartbeat and the crackle of flames.
A cry of pain catches my attention; it comes from inside the lair. I run towards the sound, praying that it'll be Lincoln. The cries get louder, piercing my ears.
"Linc!" I shout again.
"Over here," the voice croaks. I look to my right to see Lincoln, his face caked in blood and his hand over one of his eyes.
"Oh, my God," I exclaim, running towards him. "What happened?"
"I got trapped behind the door," he says. "And I got caught in the gas." He coughs and pulls away his hand, revealing his eye dripping with blood.
"We need to get you out." I start pulling him up but he shakes his head.
"Leave me," he groans. "The afterdamp is poisonous; you know that. I'm already dying."
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," I whisper, hugging him. He winces but I ignore it, willing him to stay alive.
"I love you, O," he says with his last breath.
"I'm sorry," I repeat.
"Don't be. I don't want to hear you say sorry to me ever again." His head falls, his heart beats one last time, the blood drips from his eye.
"I'm so, so sorry," I say, crying into his shoulder. "I'm sorry I cheated on you with Jasper; I'm sorry I didn't always listen to you; I'm sorry I left you; I'm sorry that I accidentally trapped you here -" He may be dead, but I keep going. "- I'm sorry that Bellamy tortured you five years ago; I'm sorry that I was a part in this suicide mission; I'm sorry I let things happen to you; I'm sorry I put you through so much trouble; I'm sorry for being an arrogant bitch. I'm so sorry, Lincoln, and I can never make up for that."
***
"O?"
I can hear my name being called as I walk back into camp, reliving the past few moments in my mind.
Jasper walks up to me, swinging his arm around my shoulder. "You didn't find him, then?" he asks.
I nod my head. "I couldn't save him," I say. "It's my fault, it's all my fault. I trapped him with the grounders, I -"
"It's not your fault!" Jasper shouts. There's an awkward silence.
"Leave me alone," I say, running from him. I climb up a tree before he can grab me, and make my way to the top. I balance myself in the higher branches.
"Get down from there!" Jasper shouts.
I ignore him, preparing my speech. "Lincoln is dead!" I shout. People turn around to face me, hands over mouths and the flicker of tears in their eyes. "I'm responsible for his death. I let him get trapped in the grounders' lair. And I'm sorry for our loss, for everyone's loss. But we can end it all, by starting with this."
I move one of my feet into the air and take a deep breath. I let go of one of the branches, and plummet through the air. The last thing I hear is the distant cry of Jasper.
***
A/N
Early update again because it's my cousin's birthday tomorrow and won't have a chance to update. I think that's the last person I kill off for now. R. I. P. Lincoln, and R. I. P.-maybe Octavia. 🙏
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