That's Christmas To Me

7. O Holy Night*

Andy kissed down my neck. We were both naked. He just hadn't...put it in.

But his fingers were inside of me. He was treating me like the first time he took my virginity.

"Andy I can handle your dick." I whispered as he curled his fingers up onto my g-spot. I whimpered and moved my hand to his shoulder.

"Can you?" He asked.

"I pushed a child out of me so yeah."

"Right. I only remember you from when we were teenagers."

"Like when I was tight?" I asked.

"Oh honey. You're still more than tight." He whispered, sending shivers down my spine.

"Don't play with me." I whispered.

He chuckled and stared at me. "You want me to wear a condom?"

"No." I whispered.

He nodded and removed his fingers from me. I sighed and looked up at him. He was smiling.

"Take top." He said.

I groaned. "No."

"I've been in a relationship for fifteen years where I haven't had a woman take top. Please."

I hid a laugh. "You did leave her for me."

"Aurora." He said. I giggled and sat up, moving him to lay against the headboard.

The sheets were still on his thighs. I got on his lap. He held my waist.

"I don't know how you did it but I think you got prettier." Andy said.

"Don't boost my ego." I said.

He traced his fingers over my waist and kissed my tits. Oh god.

I moaned and let myself grab his dick. I stroked it while he kissed my left breast, massaging the right one.

"Oh fuck..." I whispered as he moved one of his hands down my clit.

His beard scratched my soft skin. It felt so good.

I would never admit to his face that he was still the biggest I've had. I mean I didn't meet Adam until thirteen years ago. I had seven years where I was messing around.

But god I swear he got thicker.

I moved my finger over his tip, swirling the precum around.

He pulled away from my skin and took a deep breath.

"Rory...you gotta stop or I'm gonna cum." He whispered as he moved my hand away. He was twitching so hard.

I smiled and moved to line myself up, quickly letting him fill me up.

And that then and there did it for me.

I let out a throaty moan. Every emotion from him came back into my body. The anger. The stress. The hatred. The love. The compassion. Us.

"Breathe." He whispered. I didn't know what I felt in this moment. But it wasn't sex.

I was mad at him for everything he had done. I have held onto the same fucking person for sixteen years. I poured my heart to him and he left me because he fucked a girl on campus.

But I loved him. I always had. I hated that I did. I hated that I put my ex-husband through five years of marriage and a child, with him knowing that I was still in love with someone.

I wasted years of someone's life.

Someone that I did love. I will always love Adam for what he gave me.

But I wasn't in love with Adam like I was Andy. I was madly in love with andy, and it made me do stupid things.

"Rory..." he whispered. I looked up at him.

"Andy..."

"I'm so sorry."

I sighed. He breathed with me.

"I'm so sorry for every single thing that I've put you through."

"Okay you have to stop because I've had a child that made me sift and I cry over his cartoons sometimes so you can't." I said. He moved me off of him and grabbed me his shirt, laying on the side of the bed.

"Andy hey wait-"

He helped me put his shirt and some panties on. He grabbed his boxers.

"No- hey wait I wanted to-"

"Aurora this can't happen."

"What?"

"It can't happen."

"What can't happen?" I snapped.

"Having sex."

"Oh."

I was worried we couldn't happen. All I wanted was him.

"Oh- umm. Yeah. I'll- I can head back home- I mean to my parents I just- I-"

I was grabbing my things. As I did, Andy grabbed my hand and sat me on the bed.

"Andy I need to go home."

"No." He said. He pulled me into him and laid me down on the bed.

There he sat, holding himself up on his elbow and wrapping an arm around my waist as he looked down at me.

I stared up at him. "Andy I'm serious I can't anymore I-"

"Shhh. You're not leaving. It's too cold. And you're not sleeping on a couch."

I sighed and snuggled into his body more. I felt like bursting into tears.

"I'm not gonna have sex with you because I can tell from that one second that so many of these memories came back and we haven't talked about much and...I'm not gonna hurt you more than I already have."

Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.

"I'm just so confused by this whole situation." I whispered. He moved me closer and rubbed my back as he laid back. I rested my head on his chest and focused on my breathing.

"Me too." He said. "But Aurora please don't think that I don't wanna have sex with you. I do...you know I do."

I nodded. "I know." I whispered. I traced the outline of his abdomen.

"Maybe some day when we're good we can..." he said.

There wouldn't be a someday. I go back home in nine days. It's Christmas Eve tomorrow. We have our families to get to and our lives.

This is gonna blow over and I'm going to be left alone taking care of Connor.

I closed my eyes.

"Andy I just-"

"-Aurora you don't have to feel anything. It's okay. You can feel so much or nothing I don't really care. But you need sleep. We need sleep."

I nodded and moved over a bit. He pulled me in, spooning me.

I liked his warmth so much.

"I'm not shutting you out. I want what's best for us."

I nodded.