Irresistible- Benny Rodriguez

25-Rejection

"I don't know Benny man, they all look like clouds to me." I said staring at the sky.

And they did, as I stared into the sky I wondered what he was going on and on about the clouds for.

I mean, even stars are more relatable to what he was saying then the clouds!

Nothing was special about them at all!

I looked at Benny who was looking at me and licking his lips.

"I know I'm so beautiful you just can't take your eyes off me." I joked laughing it off.

But Benny didn't laugh.

Which made it awkward, and I just smiled an awkward smile at him.

"Sorry I was completely in space!" He finally said.

I just shook my head like he was crazy and looked around.

"Why'd you change your hair?" He asked.

"Oh, I just...wanted a change! Plus I wanted to feel like a different person!" I smiled.

He smiled and looked back up at the sky,

"I don't think you needed to change at all."

"Your only saying that," I scoffed.

"Do you remember our date to the carnival?"

I looked at him,

"Of course. It was my favorite night ever!" I smiled.

"Yeah, mine too," he looked at me.

"They don't have carnivals around here, I'd give anything to go back to one."

"Well we could sneak you back..." he smirked.

I looked over at him and laughed.

Then he really looked like he had an idea.

"Yeah! Sneak you back!"

"Benny, your crazy." I rolled my eyes.

"We could all take turns having you sleep over and you could play baseball with us!"

"I am not sneaking onto another state!"

He huffed.

"Come on, Kay would do it." He looked at me.

"Benny, I am Kay."

"So you'll do it?!" His eyes lit up.

"No! That's crazy!"

"Come on! All your good memories are with us! Remember?!"

"No, first you sound crazy, second how thought out your plan is makes me question how much you've thought about all this."

"Y/n, your all I can think about, I can't stand being away from you."

Aw, he really said that?

"You sound stupid. And I'm not running away." I coldly said.

Although, I loved Benny and I knew he was probably being serious I couldn't just leave behind my whole life.

He took both my hands.

"Y/n... please. I've never felt this way about anyone before. I get all nervous around you and I get sad when I'm not around you and you make me smile a different smile that nobody else can and I-"

He took a breath.

"I love you."

I was taken back.

"You do not love me." I blankly stared at him.

"But that's the thing, I think I do."

"Benny. You can't love me, even if you do I wont allow it."

He looked at me.

"Your my best friend! I don't wanna ruin it with some dumb love that's probably not even real!"

I tried to explain it to him in a gentle manner.

He then leg go of my hands.

He got up without saying a word to me.

"Benny come on! You can't be seriously mad at me!" I said from behind him.

He just continued walking...

The truth was, i knew if I confessed my feelings towards Benny I'd be screwing myself over.

I knew I loved Benny, but I couldn't just sit there and let myself be taken over by my feelings.

I stared at Benny who had now just become a small blob that far away.

I wondered if I would be better off running up to him and hugging him and telling him that I loved him too.

In the end I decided not to, of course I thought it was worth it but I couldn't do that to him.

I couldn't put him through the pain of having someone so far away and be so in love.

Maybe if we lived closer.

Maybe if the world had wanted us to be together,

Maybe if I wasn't so stupid,

Everything would've worked out...

-

"You did what!?" Julie's eyes were wide.

I just sat there staring at my shoes.

"Benny man your crazy!" Smalls laughed.

"Look okay, I know it was stupid." I put my hands up in defense.

"Your lucky we're leaving tomorrow, because then you never have to see her again." Ham said.

I sighed.

"Benny man you did the right thing, maybe she'll come back and we'll all be able to play ball like we used to!" Yeah-yeah tried to comfort me.

I stared at my scuffed up pf flyers.

"It'll never be the same." I said, almost angry.

How could she not wanna be with me! How could she act so interested and then say that!?

In that moment I decided that I wasn't going to care, every girl in school wanted me! Why should I chase after a girl who doesn't even like me back?

...the thing was...I know y/n did like me...I knew at some point or another she did.

And I was holding onto that thought for a long time...