lost in my pain || 𝙃𝙐𝙀𝙉𝙄𝙉𝙂𝙆𝘼𝙄 ✔ [2]

run away

Perfect, just perfect. Now all of them know just because they listened to our conversations. I don't look at their faces, I know they have expressions of pity and sadness on. I keep my eyes low to the ground and don't say anything. A deep empty feeling settles in the pit of my stomach.

I decide to slowly walk away out of the kitchen and Taehyun calls my name but I ignore it. I want to ignore it. So I do.

"Just give him a few moments," Yeonjun whispers to him and Taehyun whines. I turn my head a little to look over my shoulder and I see Beomgyu clutching Yeonjun's arm with reddened cheeks. Taehyun locks eyes with me and I can tell he's trying to plead with me to stay. To talk about it all.

But I do not want to talk to about it. He mouths, 'I'm here for you.' I shake my head a little not really wanting to reply to it.

I tear up and then I quickly walk away out of that suffocating room. I began to run away, almost sliding and falling on my butt.

"Wait- wait! You shouldn't go outside like that!" Soobin shouts as I ignore my coat laying on the floor or my shoes. I open the front door quickly and then run. The air was so thick with tension, you could cut a knife with it.

"KAI!" I can hear my mom yell my name including my other members but I ignore it all and then nearly run into a bodyguard who raises his eyebrow at me.

"Sir, shouldn't you be..."

"You better not tell them where I went," I snap, and he closes his mouth then he nods. I let out a breath and continue to sprint down the hallway, anything to get out of the building. Anything.

Suddenly this reminded me of our music videos and all the parts where we ran around or ran away from something. I sigh, tears pricking my eyes once again.

Beomgyu and Taehuyn looked at me like something was wrong with me. What if something was wrong with me? Was I that messed up? Was I really that bad?

I see a janitor's closet and I throw the door open. I walk inside, close the door and let out a sob. I just need to be alone... Alone by myself. To think about stuff. I whimper as I sit down, my back leaning against the door.

This is all so much. My parents found out, Yeonjun and Soobin found out. They found out without my permission and then the others overheard it. I never got to them the way I wanted to.

I bury my face in my hands as I just cry silently.

I wish I could run away from all my problems.