like dandelions in the wind (l.s.)

Day seventeen

When I wake up, the bed is empty. Harry isn’t in the van anymore, so I use the time to get changed all alone, putting on sweatpants and a hoodie because I hear rain pattering down on the roof of the van.

I get out of the car afterwards and spot Harry immediately, sitting on his little bucket, stirring in a pot. “You didn’t tell me you had porridge with you”, he says when I’m outside, “I love porridge.”

I smile a little because he looks so soft like that, his hair falling onto his shoulders in soft curls, wearing a thick jacket over his hoodie, a wooden spoon in his hand.

I sit down next to him, thinking about pressing a good morning kiss to his lips but I don’t do it. I’m so unsure about his boundaries and thoughts that I’d rather not risk anything.

He doesn’t kiss me either, just smiles a little, so I suppose me not doing anything has to be fine. “Where do you want to go today?”, Harry asks, putting a bit of the rather disgustingly looking mix into my bowl.

“I’m not sure. I think my original plan was to go swimming in that cool public swimming pool my parents used to take me and my sister’s too, but I suppose the weather isn’t exactly suitable for that.”

Harry chuckles lowly with a look to the sky and whines when a raindrop falls right into his eye. I can’t help but laugh, but when Harry throws me a scary look, I continue eating quickly, not laughing anymore.

That makes him chuckle a bit before he fills his bowl as well. “Maybe we could just drive a bit further into east and see if there’s any nice spots at the coast?”

I nod in agreement and then we finish eating in silence. Something about today is so weird. I’m not sure what it is, but he feels so much more distant than the days before. Maybe he’s still sad from yesterday, or maybe, he decided against whatever all of this was.

We get the car ready for continuing to drive and search for home rest area where we can shop some sweets and use the restrooms to brush our teeth and wash a little.

We talk during all of it, but he doesn’t get close. I don’t either, obviously. Maybe he doesn’t want me too and I don’t know how to find out. I suppose I could talk to him, but I really don’t know how. I don’t have a way with words and I’m waiting for him to just make the first step.

“I swear”, Harry says and points to my rather, I admit it, ugly, grey fleece jacket, “You look just like my fifty-year-old uncle.”

“Thanks for that compliment, wow.”

He laughs loudly and buckles up again, turning the key around. “No worries. You’re prettier then him”, he then quietly says and if I wasn’t so scared and unsure, I’d lean over to press a kiss to his cheek, but instead I just stare out of my window and try not to let him see that I’m blushing.

“Next stopppp”, Harry says, sounding like that person at a roller-coaster, “Somewhere at the coast.”

I smile softly, nodding. “Sounds great. It’s just raining rather badly, you realize that, don’t you?”

Harry rolls his eyes. “Come on, I think you’ll survive that.”

It goes on like that for the rest of the day, us stopping at the coast every now and then to enjoy the view before continuing to drive, eating all the sweets we bought at that small shop.

It’s my turn to drive now and it’s nearly five, the rain still not having stopped. There were even a few thunders heard in the distance and my weather app predicted thunderstorm for this night. Knowing how much they scare Harry, it’s clear that we can’t stay in the van tonight.