Always & Forever

Chapter 24

Third Person POV

Amada laid awake in bed. It was the last night before they moved to LA for a few months, and she knew next time she was back in this bed, they'd be a family of four.

A million questions, thoughts and feelings were running rampage through her head.

Lana is due in less than 8 weeks. Amada was excited to have a little sister but also beyond nervous. What if she wasn't a good big sister? What if she dropped Mila? What if Mila hates her when she grows up? What if whenever she hold her, Mila cries?

She didn't love the idea of moving back to LA. She did, but that was before. She is excited to be with her family, and back near Isla, and Lisa, though. She wondered about how their relationship would be now, and after Mila was born.

And then there were questions about Liam, and of course the sadness surrounding her because he would be here, and she would be 2000 km away in LA. It was stupid. Foolish for her to be sad that he wouldn't be there with her, but the feeling was predominant.

She thought about her recovery and how at her last appointment they'd told her that her progression had seemingly fallen back, as if she's getting worse again. She didn't understand it. How that was even possible, but it hurt, and despite both Lana and Sean assuring her that she'd be okay, she wasn't convinced. If anything she felt like that slip up, falling back, losing progression, had made her fall down a rabbit hole with no encouragement. No motivation and no reason to continue trying because when she did, it went the opposite way for her. That's how she felt anyway.

They decided to transfer her records to a physical therapist in Los Angeles so she could continue going. But Amada didn't feel like it anymore. She didn't want to go. It had been months since the accident, and yet, it felt like there wasn't any hope left.

Before she realized it, tears were staining her face, slipping from her eyelids as she stared at the dark ceiling above her.

"Amada," Liam whispered.

She blew out a breath, swallowing thickly and then sucking another breath in.

She moved her head back to his chest, and he slid his finger under her eyes, gently swiping away her tears.

"I don't want to go" she confessed quietly after a moment, her voice hardly a whisper.

He nodded against her, "I know, princess."

Her body shook with the unshed tears she was trying to hold back. "It's okay to cry." he told her. She swallowed again, she didn't want to cry. She really didn't. But he was her safe place and so she gave up, allowing the tears to fall, dampening his shirt. He didn't mind. He only held her, gently running his hand along her back and thumbing away the tears from her beautiful face.

It was quiet in the room, other than her sobs muffled by his chest.

Her tears subsided long enough for her to speak. "I don't know why I'm crying" she admitted. "I should be happy, right?"

He didn't say anything. He knew she didn't really want him to respond, so he moved his hand from her face and began running it soothingly through her hair.

"I'm scared." she said, but shook her head against him, as if shaking off her thoughts, "I shouldn't be though."

"You have good reason to be." he assured her.

"I shouldn't be." she repeated but deflated, "But I am." She shot up in bed with the words, "What if he finds me?" frantically flying from her mouth, "Or, what if someone recognizes me, Liam? And they start asking me questions. I don't think I can handle it. And you're not going to be there and what if-"