Black Rose (Completed)

Chapter Twelve

Hello Diary,

There are times when as an outsider you are bitten by a severe sense of loneliness. You are never alone but sometimes in the crowd you still feel alone. What's wrong with you? Are you thinking too much? Too many demands? Can we satisfy everyone's expectations? Obviously that's impossible! But reality shows something different. Reality that overwhelms you until you are fed up. That's when you will fantasize, if the prince on a white horse really existed and came to save you. Bringing you a basket of happiness, forever, like romantic stories in fairy tales.

Lilia shuddered. In that note, her other self was affected by Cinderella's 'disease' like most young girls in the patriarchal environment. If she could cross then Lilia would scold 'that girl' until she realized that Cinderella's story was just fiction, never real, but has polluted the minds of many girls in the world.

In the patriarchal tradition, women are considered second only to men. The patriarchal household provides the main facilities for the men and the women get the crumbs. Men can do anything and women are restrained by various rules. Even a girl is already under the dominion of a man before her wedding day. Lilia knew a girl who was banned from driving by her fiancé under threat. The man simply said, "I'll hit you if I see you driving."

This man also forbade his fiancé to study at a public university outside the city. Every day he came to the girl's house to supervise, if he felt the girl was being sweet and obeyed the rules, then he would give gifts. Lilia wanted to explain to that girl that the things her patriarchal fiancé did was a subtle trap, but she couldn't because she would be hated and misunderstood.

So, Lilia was annoyed with herself. And gradually began to write serialized stories about girls who were victims of verbal abuse from patriarchal men.

"Physical violence often stems from verbal abuse," Lilia wrote.

It was the big theme of her first writing that would later lead Lilia to a fun world of literacy. In the midst of her busy fruit candy business, Lilia reads a lot of books and newspapers, wherever and whenever there is an opportunity to do so. Her head was so busy with various thoughts and storylines. If that was the case then Lilia often skipped meals and only realized when she was really hungry.

Of course Lilia had very good friends, they came to deliver plates of food because Lilia seemed to hear nothing. But the food got cold and remained intact on the table.

"Humans need to eat and sleep," said Kana after finishing her work in the shophouse kitchen.

"I'm fighting for my future so that I'll be rich and die in heaven," Lilia joked. Then back to work.

Kana sighed, "Now we're in third grade, but your busyness just increases."

"Don't worry, pal. Even though I have more work to do, I'm happy and my body is fine too."

"Good," said Kana. "Don't let yourself get sick because the marketing of our products really depends on you. You have the network, and you know very well how to grow a business. If something happens to you, our kitchen team will not be able to replace you."

"I promise I won't let you down, buddy." Lily said. "I just have to do what I have to."

"Then I feel relieved now," said Kana. "Go on with your work. I won't bother you anymore."

"Thank you friend."

"You are welcome, friend."

The good thing about someone who has lived in a pesantren is that they have been trained to be very disciplined. Every day in the twenty-four hour cycle has definitely been filled with a schedule of learning activities, five times of worship in congregation, and taking care of oneself such as cooking and washing clothes (in addition to the daily schedule for cleaning the pesantren area). Night sleep is set at ten, and you have to wake up before the dawn call to prayer rings, around four in the morning. But there is always a group of students who wake up even earlier at two or three o'clock, for the evening prayer called Tahajud.