The Beauty of Pain

Chapter 09

If I had to live my life over again, I would find you sooner so that I could love you longer.

Those words are in my mind. Unknowingly. Kahit sa paggising ko sa umaga.

I woke up in my room with my whole body aching. Yes umatake na naman ang aking sakit.

This past few days was very tiring. But it was the most happiest days of my life. I was with Luca for almost 7 days. Dapat hindi lang seven days kaso on the 7th day hindi ko na kaya. Kinailangan ko ng umuwi.

The fact that we are together always. We had contact also. We fucked every night and that really exhausted me. I enjoyed and loved it but napapagod agad ako. I know my body. Kaya alam ko na hindi na maganda ang nangyayari kaya heto ako ngayon sa bahay. Umuwi before something bad will happen to me.

I can't help but to reminisce on those days that we were together. For all the things that happened to us.

"You like it?"

I was surprised. More than I could ever imagine. Akala ko kasi nagbibiro lang siya ng sinabi niya sa akin na we will go on some romantic dates.

But here we are. He really did surprised me. No doubt about it.

"I love it, Luca."

Nakangiti kong sabi sa kaniya. Nasa isang field kami na hindi ko alam saan. Somewhere sa isang race track. At sa gitna nito ay may naka set up na mat na pang picnic ang style.

The place was quiet. With some mellow music that tone down the minimal noise around the place. There are some low hanging, soft lights to give the space a warm glow.

Ofcourse, comfort food and lots of throw pillows to make the whole set up complete. The food choices are in a pack of a bento box, charcuterie board. A pair of whine and cheese. Sandwiches and a barbeque.

May pa flower pa siyang nalalaman. I'm not into flowers, really. Ayoko lang, kasi feeling ko mamatay na ako kapag binibigyan ako ng mga bulaklak. But this time was an exemption. For once gusto kung maexperience paano ang makatanggap ng bulaklak galing sa taong gusto mo.

Sa ikli ng panahon ng pagkakakilala namin masasabi kung iba si Luca sa lahat ng lalaking nakilala ko. He may not be into a serious relationship or afraid of commitment. But he is romantic and sa kaniya lang din ako nagkagusto ng ganito at nakaranas ng iba't ibang emosyon.

"Good that you love it. I was kinda hesitant at first. Because I thought you are not into this. Hence you are not the typical damsel in distress who loves mushy stuff. I know you're fierce and independent woman, though."

"Kahit naman siguro sinong mala Gabriela Silang na aura may tinatago pa ring kahinaan at naghahangad na itrato ng ganito. Babae pa rin naman ako. Mas maganda pa nga eh, lalo na pag galing ito sa lalaking gusto nila."

Nakita ko sa mukha niya na parang natigilan at nahulog sa malalim na pag-iisip. May mali siguro sa aking sinabi. Pati ako napaisip tuloy.