My little girl

10. Her

Liz-
Your time should I just wake up every day, and I just feel a sense of my gratitude that I feel like I have to give to others because like I am so blessed that I even have a healthy child you know how each children because I could have been robbed of those things, because I didn't take care of myself .

I mean I've always been relatively good about working out heavily healthy eating walking every day just the normal things and unfortunately why when you get too comfortable that's one thing I'm most like slap you in the face. I still haven't really forgiven myself for that day.

I know I'm scared sunshine beyond believe because she, you know one of my when you know everything happened and the bleeding started and then you know San

  came to my rescue because Chan was at work. It was very scary you don't don't think what happened and what's happening and that happening to you and then when it happens to you in such denial that you ask yourself each and every day OK good Lord what have I done and you ask yourself that every single day and you just you know you're just grateful as the end of the day because you live to see that day and I mean I didn't know what everything felt like before I had sent you and I mean .

I was scared to death that I had a tumor and when I had Dale, I thought the exact same thing like I thought that I had a tonight because I was like there's no way God would bless me with you know with two healthy unknown pregnancies
There  had to be some some sort of catch but with God's grace, he gave me two healthy children. They were just hiding in the warmth and setting in their cozy home .

I guess you don't really  know what his plans are and you're always thankful and relieved when he blesses you with you know a little scary, but oh well it is well you know what I mean that to me is why I'm so grateful because you know I'm very lucky that I didn't die or a hemorrhage or better yet lose both kids because I could've gone either way it could've been. I started out slowly and finally and then it could've been to the tragedy and like they say in most cases, I'm very lucky nothing major happened to meet with the kids and I'm so lucky that you know Chris got there in time because otherwise it would've just been me and my best friend San which would've been fine looking back but at the time that seems like the end of the world because you think OK well why is my husband hear what your husband can't really be here if he doesn't know what's going on it's been very very tired and like you know, I had a little bit a post partum PTSD, from the childbirth because it was unknown in a little bit scary, and I'm just really blessed and thankful that everything turned out correct and not scary and traumatic like most cases.