My little girl

20. Terms

Liz-

perhaps there a time tonight life we're not thinking how far we've come on how we always put some people wrong and I will continue to do so. I told myself that every day I tell myself that it's worth to be proud of who I am and what I'm over come versus but there's no sense of crying over what you don't have and what you did have that's what I always say .

I remember something in along the lines that Chris had said only one of his lives is stop crying that you don't have everything in the world because you can't always have everything that you want. That's just the way it goes and however there are some percentages of people like 50% who get whatever they want whenever they want and they're still never happy. Perhaps if we all worked hard and never really eat wind mountain ground, we could have so much more but anything OK maybe we can't have everything that we want in life and that's OK.

I felt sick to my stomach thinking of how selfish people really could be when they wanted to be you think about the story and you're like wow you know I wish I had all of these things but to me I know I have some thing that every girl wants and every girl tries to pretend to have a boy what they need it's really emotional but then you think OK haps I can't have everything that I want but that's OK because I have a love and I know some people act out because they want to be loved and are never really loved to begin with.

I think that's why people throw fits in time because they want to be loved and realize that they're not loud so they throw fits about it and

I always tell my kids if you're ever feeling scared just remember that you were loved and then people will be kind to you. My little boy always look seven up at me with big Brown eyes when I say that they always look up at me it's really funny how he ended up with brown eyes, but eventually they will change because you can have a different color and end up with a different color but my kids always look up at me with people And they're ignorant. They had toys that's because I think every girl wants to be a trophy wife or wants to be married to a celebrity.

That's what they call those people Trophy Wives but to me I didn't think I'd end up with Chris . I mean Maddie used to write books all the time when we were younger about ending up with you know these types of people and then when you end up with these people you think I'm a genius know because it's scary like in the K-pop industry it's not people eating up your relationship. You know when you go get coffee there's no Poparazzi we got these things happen that isn't. What are the paparazzi but it's true it computer and a cyber bully you and make up lies in China order to get you to hurt yourself.

Some of them have been successful and K-pop idols have fallen and taking their life which is so depressing and heartbreaking to think about but you think about it you think maybe if they had just gotten help and you can get all of the help that you want to get it but when people are constantly bashing you on the Internet, why then you disappear you think OK like you're not a problem my lazy bastard gosh you're such a chicken for leaving blah blah blah but no I'm not a chicken .

I actually don't even on a social Netwerk to be honest I got a social networks. I keep in touch with the girls talking on the phone really weird out at time. It's scary and it's freaky.

Yes those silly  things  all day. What is right and wrong what is right and wrong but the answer is I don't know what .

I did wrong but I did nothing wrong so you tell yourself every day to doing the right thing and you really need to just stop crying and just be grateful that you get to see him every day that's why

I told myself every day I will be grateful and every day I will be kind to myself seeing a day cause I didn't have to get an option .

I could've been I don't know taken out or something and I'm very blessed my kids are happy healthy and I'm very blessed that can always want to children but the only person that wasn't happy for us so far is Jay YP I'm really happy that stays don't know about them because we don't post about them not that we're ashamed, but we wanna protect him as much as we possibly can and top of that we won our privacy so we always do the best that we can and I mean .

I took Sunchin  to the market  with me the other day but I don't think people realize that I was his wife because while we've never come out about it so I could look like I'm just a foreigner walking in the grocery store, which is really intense I am .

I don't wanna shout out from the rooftops that she is mine just because I don't even wanna imagine what the fence or depressed we do, and I'm gonna keep us safe for a long as I possibly can and I will not stop.