My little girl

19. 27

Liz -

today has just been like a crappy one not like with the kids behavior. The kids are always generally very well. I mean they're not loud or anything the kids like to keep to themselves and you know how the extra reassurance it's fine but I've been trying to hide my pain because my kids are very observant on behaviors like my kids are very like you know like nosy with behaviors like if if your feelings are hurt as long as you need that you know worry about his mommy that I upset you mommy that .

I hurt you you know with my choice of words are mommy are you feeling OK? mommy you look sad mommy what's wrong with my mommy? you're scared mommy you're scaring me cause you're not cause you're stuck inside

and I member Sention I remember her sunshine was like three or four and she got emotional when Dale was born because before you know he was born and she seen mommy bleed a little bit and she got scared and upset because she thought you know mommy was going to be with angels and you know it's really really hard on her so it's really emotionally drained because you don't know and you know how these people are feeling and you know .

I've always been open with my kids about feelings but they still catch on me and I've been working on trying to hide.

My emotions are better like not crying because I don't want the kids to get upset in the process to think that they been since I've sent me because my kids never upset me. I know you know when they're older there's gonna be some challenges but I mean.

I know since he and is very traumatized from seeing me in pain, and I feel terrible like I feel absolutely terrible and I just want to cry every time I think of this is creation because when I think of that day

, I think God every single day that I've got these amazing friends that were there to help out because who knows what would happen if it was just me and sunshine .

I mean she could've been very frightened. She probably wouldn't you therapy the rest of her life hearing me make those noises in the screams and we were very open with her afterwards about how her and her brother were you know unexpected little surprise it and that we still love them and will always love them

and will never stop loving them and I don't know every single Year that we're still here for you honey and we will always be here for you honey and we will never stop and she's gotten better. She's been much more calm and we've been doing.

your therapy to talk about our feelings. You know when we feel scared sometimes she'll draw

pictures of what happened the day there was for him because she was so frightened and it's gotten a lot better with talking about how we get scared and what we do when we're scared and how do we you know how do we cope with the situations and we always give each other hugs and say

I love you And just to kind of cope with the fact that it was a scary time for us and we didn't know what was happening. Sunchin -mommy do you Thomas from the earned it if you're not feeling well, you will tell me so I can go get uncle San I talked with Miss Sarah today and we drew a picture about how I feel from that day that what happened when you were sick with baby brother and have it made me feel and I just want to make sure that you're not going anywhere mommy right mom .

Casillas in the class her mommy  is gone and I tell Miss Sarah that's one of my fears, but I know you won't leave me mommy.

Liz-
honey your daddy and I are very proud of you for expressing your feelings and talking about how you felt that day

yes, daddy and I plan around Savannah around for a very long time.