My little girl

31. So soft

Liz-

the last couple days have been a bit of a blur. I've been all over the place of my emotions like I'm happy and grateful. Obviously, I'm very grateful for everybody's help and very grateful for everybody's help and everybody's in a passion for me and the kids and I'm really grateful for the support that we got from around the world because they did not, they did not have to be nice. They could've really kicked my ass to the curb and said you know what you had three unexpected babies by hiding them for a nice expensive amount of time and I was never in barest of my kids.

I just wanted to keep them safe because it's a nasty nasty world out there with paparazzi's and flashing lights and just despicable things if you well, it's really gross to think that someone's watching you and looking for you it could be a challenge at times and it makes me so sad and so and all just scared I mean I don't know think I'd be pregnant a third time this time.

I am taking more precaution with a shot and pills I mean me and 10 don't do it very often you know just every once in a while but sometimes my kids as soon as they decide they want to be born. They just attach real quick.
It's really scary and it's just yeah

I mean I'm so happy that things worked out and that Chan was able to be there and that San was there for me when Chris was stuck at the studio. Chris -

She is so beautiful and the fact that you know we had her unexpected. She's at the prettiest eyes and they mean I know those are so the buys anywhere. Those are the pair of eyes that I see when I my whole life changed when I met you my love and I can't I just can't can't you know be more grateful I mean .

I jump the list for a really long time and I'm so happy that I was able to have you and I was able to get us this opportunity in life. It's just so amazing so amazing. And I'm so grateful that she's OK because she didn't have to be OK like and I got to have her totally different this time I mean with suntan it was scary and so quick but also so slow with Dale. It was still scary but kind of fast in the way and with Ivy it was scary, peaceful, and terrifying, but I'm so grateful that my kids have come but with Ivy I was more nervous because I like to loosen up with her. I really did loosen up with her.

I loosened up with her so bad that I drink the entire time you know because we went out of the other side and I wasn't really taking care of myself not that I ever get any weight but you know I just I should've exercise little bit more I should've I should've took a test. I should've done this and I should've that, but we can't change what if's  so I think I'm just gonna be grateful for everything turning out normal.