Coffee - Kuroken

Chapter 18 - Past

tw underage drinking?

 I walked back to the group from the bar, and gave Daichi the drink he wanted. They were all crowded around a pool table, Terushima the current player. The music was booming, and the purple and blue lights illuminated the dance floor.

"Bro how are you so damn rich?" I laughed, and he hit the yellow 13 ball into a pocket before answering.

"I don't know, man my parents are doctors." He shrugged, waving and walking away before leaving to talk to another group.

"If his parents are doctors, then why are they always out on a business trip?" Oikawa questioned, and I thought about it for a second before shrugging it off and getting more in the circle of people that formed. Though it was only 5 people, not including myself.

"Kuroo, aren't you and Kenma fighting or something?" Suga sipped on his cocktail, and Bokuto looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, it's not going too well." I rubbed the back of my neck, knowing that I was trying to escape from that right now.

"You better figure that shit out before you graduate." Iwaizumi peered at me.

"I'm trying, Ok? I'm doing all I can right now." I raised my hands in surrender, and everyone went quiet.

"Damn, okay." Iwaizumi just looked at his phone, probably uncomfortable with my outburst of emotions.

"Did any of you guys watch the Shiratorizawa vs Fukurodani match? I know Bokuto was obviously in it but it was heated." Oikawa swiftly changed the subject, dissipating any awkwardness in the air. A full conversation started, and I was just a listener. Suddenly, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I whirled around to see Kenma.

"Hey, Kenma." I wasn't expecting to see him here, even though I knew he was on the guest list.

"Are you ignoring me?" He shook his head. "I mean, sorry. Why are you ignoring me?" The rephrasing was more pointed than the original.

"Can I get you a drink then we can talk about this somewhere else?" I asked, and he nodded. I couldn't tell whether or not he was livid or if he was just a little salty.

I walked over to the drinks, and asked for a beer, not knowing exactly what he would want. Although, part of me was just stressing about what he was angry about. I honestly didn't think he would come, especially without telling me.

The guy at the bar handed me a beer, and I walked back to where Kenma was, and he led me upstairs into one of the guest rooms, which was pitch black except for the light coming in from downstairs.

"I hate beer." He turned down the drink I got him, and I put it down. "Why are you ignoring me?" He asked for the second time.

"First of all, I didn't know you were coming to this party. If I had known, then I would be glad to hang out with you." I answered, not much of a tone to my voice.

"And if I showed up randomly?" He asked saltily.

"I would be glad to hang out with you." I gave the only possible response.

"Then why aren't you glad to hang out with me?" He raised his voice.

"Because you're yelling at me." I kept my voice low. He looked angry, and I was confused why it was my fault.

Kenma mumbled something that I couldn't hear.

"What?"

"I just don't think this will ever be the same." He now sounded sad.

"What will?" I was so confused.

"Me and you. Since we broke up and got back together, we haven't been able to connect or even talk normally without a fight breaking out." He was laying down exactly what was on my mind.

"Honestly, I need to be away from this fighting. It's stressing me out." I said, completely honest.

"Are you serious?" He deadpanned. "I'm over here taking tests, picking out schools, fighting with my boyfriend, and also wondering what life will be like when he's god knows how many miles away." I was finally pushed over the edge by his ignorance.

"You don't get it. As much as you like to ignore it, I'm graduating in less than a month, and I need to actually decide where to go, and get ready to leave everyone while thinking that you hate me for it." I laid out everything I was feeling, the confession bringing tears to my eyes just from saying it out loud.

Kenma looked like he was at a loss for words.

"We will never work long distance. We will never work when I go to college. We will never work. Things haven't been the same since we got back together, and they never will be." I raised my voice slightly, speaking through my teeth.

"What the fuck? You were the one who was so obsessed with 'giving it time. What's wrong with you? Fucking hypocrite." Kenma spat, full of hatred.

"I take it back. I need to get on with my life, and that means dropping my high school relationship." I talked as if this was a normal conversation.

"You are so obsessed with college it's ridiculous. You never talk to me about my life." Kenma reflected on the time we were together, and I immediately saw a lie he told.

"You little bitch. I always talked to you about your stupid art, and stupid music, but you never talked to me about what I wanted to do, you just got mad at me for talking about it." I seethed, my voice full of pure loathing.

"I'm done with this. With you. With this fucking conversation." Kenma pushed past me and slammed the door behind him. I was left in my own hatred, the black of the room hiding the sour expression on my face. I was full of resentment.

"Kuroo, are you in there?" Someone called from outside the door. Bokuto.

"Yeah." At the mention of another person, my anger was distorted into sadness and hopelessness.

"Can I come in?"

"Yeah." My voice was raw. The door opened, and I saw the silhouette of Bokuto through the LED lights.

"What happened?" He ran to where I was frozen in time.

"That was it." I whispered to myself.

"What was what?" He asked, puzzled.

"Kenma and I." I couldn't talk much more or my tears would escape my eyes.

"Holy shit." He pulled me into a Bokuto hug, and my tears began flowing like a waterfall. I sobbed quietly, knowing what I just lost.

The rest of the group found us there a few minutes later, and Iwaizumi, the designated driver, insisted on taking me home. It was all a blur. I got dropped off, and ran to my room still crying. Hours later, my tears finally ran out.

My best friend, my lover, everything was gone.

What am I supposed to do now?