Coffee - Kuroken

Chapter 14 - Past

2 weeks later

I walked through the rain, glad to be in its peace. The small town was quiet at night, and on this particular one, the only sound other than my footsteps was the rain. I arrived at where I wanted to go, the local coffee shop. It was only 8pm, so it should still be open.

The sign was on, so I walked into there, and up to the cash register, where someone was ready to take my order.

"Hello, what would you like?" Asked the guy working.

"Just a small coffee. Hot." I didn't want anything crazy.

"Ok! Your total is 3.58." I paid for the drink, and walked to a table to set down my stuff.

"Order 107?" Someone called from the front, and I knew it was for me. I walked back to the counter, and got the drink I ordered. I went back to my spot, and opened my laptop, trying to shove down all of the thoughts that were clouding my mind.

My laptop was open, and logged into, but I didn't know what to do. I looked through my documents, and a few of the things I could be doing for school, but nothing looked like something I felt like doing right now. All I could think about was what happened 2 weeks ago.

It's bad enough that I cried in front of my mom as a third-year in high school. It's even worse that I absolutely lost it over Kenma. I really need to pull myself together.

Why do I always overthink everything? I opened another tab, and went back into my google docs, taking out my college essays. I looked at the document, and it was the same as the last time I looked at it. Is it good enough? Will it get me into the schools I want?

My thoughts were absolutely vaporized as Kenma walked through the door. My breath hitched, and I kept staring at my essay. He walked right past me, and didn't even slow down, if anything he sped up to get past me. This was hell.

I was suddenly hit with a thousand individual reminders that I was alone. I wasn't in a relationship. I was definitely catastrophizing it. This is all temporary. Everything is temporary. Even this break.

I stayed where I was, but observed my surroundings. Kenma was getting his drink, and sat down with someone. A ginger, it appeared. Maybe Kenma was dating around to see if there was someone better than me. I'm sure there was. I was responsible for the break up. This whole thing was my fault. There is no explanation for it other than that. I was overwhelmed with guilt so much that I couldn't physically function anymore.

I forced myself out of my thoughts, and walked out into the cold rain, forgetting my umbrella.

When did I become like this? So paranoid, worried, and anxious all of a sudden?

For the second time, I pulled myself out of my thoughts, and shut off my brain, mindlessly walking down the street, not taking in any scenery or sights as I did so.

I walked back to my house, my mind completely blank. I opened the door, my mind completely blank. My mom was sitting on the couch, and she saw me and immediately walked over to give me a hug. I accepted it, and leaned into her a little bit.

"How was studying?"

"Fine."

"You should go to bed soon."

"Sure." I walked up the stairs, and into my room, laying on my bed. I pulled out my phone, and checked my messages, but I had no new texts. I looked on social media, but I didn't have any notifications there either. My mind was tired, but my body was racing. The caffeine from the coffee must have started working.

"Why did I get coffee?" I chuckled to myself, knowing I wouldn't be sleeping anytime soon. I picked a book off of my nightstand, and started reading it, letting myself get carried into its world.

~~

My dream slowly became transparent, and I heard my mom's voice.

"I'm worried about you, Tetsuro. I hope you sleep well. Love you." She whispered, and then my dream became solid again.

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a/n rip