𝙨𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙣'𝙨 𝙨𝙪𝙣

𝒇𝒐𝒖𝒓

Saturn
• • •

When Jupiter messaged me requesting I come to dinner with him that evening, I was in shock.

Once I'd finally left the bookshop at closing time, I took my heavy over-the-shoulder bag and hauled it to a neighbouring restaurant. I swallowed hard at the entrance. I hadn't seen my brother in over a year, and we'd only spoken on the phone once or twice. There was no particular falling out between us. We simply were close one day, and the next day, we were not. It could have been after our parents' accident, but I blamed it more on age. Jupiter was much more serious than me, and had always been bound for a prestigious school like Kenton.

I finally worked up the courage to go inside the restaurant after several suspenseful moments. There was nothing to be afraid of, I reminded myself. It was only Jupiter. He was family, and he was once also a close friend. I could do this.

"Hi," I said awkwardly, approaching the host desk, "I'm just meeting someone."

The boy at the desk grinned at me. "What name is the reservation under?"

"Grey?" I guessed. I assumed Jupiter hadn't bothered to make a reservation.

"You must be Jupiter Grey's little sister," the host said, "yes, he's right this way..."

I didn't exactly appreciate being referred to as his "little" sister, but I was surprised at how quickly I'd been recognized as such. Was it possible that Jupiter was popular at Kenton?

When I saw him, my theory was disproved. He hadn't changed one bit. He stood from the booth, approaching me. I thanked the host, then went to him. We embraced. It was such a surreal moment.

"Saturn," he said softly, "you look so grown up."

"You don't," I replied. He chuckled, gesturing for me to sit.

"It's good to see you," I said, feeling a little shy. It was so strange to see him sitting in front of me. He looked so much like our father, whom I'd never met but had been surrounded with photos of my whole life.

"I'm so glad you decided to come here," Jupiter said, "I didn't know you'd been accepted until Nan called me in the spring. I wanted to reach out, but you seemed to be dodging my calls."

"I was preoccupied," I said softly, "managing the highest grades of any student isn't easy."

"Don't I know it," Jupiter smirked. We were both overachievers in every aspect, a gift from our hardworking mother. She was also the one responsible for our names. She was the reason why we struggled to blend in.

"You found all your books, I assume?" Jupiter changed the topic.

"Yes," I replied, choosing to leave out the detail that I couldn't afford half of them.

"Good," Jupiter nodded.

"I've nearly finished the first one in the syllabus," I told him.

"And?"

"It was mediocre. The romance is quite weak, in my opinion."

"I see."

The server came and took our orders. I was thankful for a break in the conversation. Being with Jupiter again was almost too strange to bear. It brought me back to the time before he left. The whirlwind that occurred after our mother's death.

"What are you thinking about?" Jupiter asked, noticing my sudden silence. I wasn't usually so quiet. He was observant, as always.

"Why didn't you say goodbye to me?" I asked, breaking the question. I allowed myself to remember his sudden and unapologetic vanishing. I felt abandoned by him. He'd left me when I needed him most. When we both needed each other the most.

"Listen to me, Saturn," Jupiter said, his glance hard as stone, "it was never my intention to do that to you. Or to Nan. I just needed to...escape after everything happened. I ran from my emotions rather than facing them, and drowned them in my dreams of coming to Kenton. I'm sorry, Saturn. I really am."

I felt a single tear trickle down my cheek. After a year of pushing my thoughts of him aside, he was finally back in my life. With his presence came a multitude of buried emotions. Memories I wished desperately to forget.

"I understand if you're upset with me," Jupiter said, "I am supposed to protect you, not leave you so vulnerable and hurt."

"It's alright," I said after a few moments, "I'm glad we can leave it in the past now."

"As am I," Jupiter agreed.

Our food arrived. Once again, I was grateful for the timing. We became lost in our own thoughts. Silence was not either of our friends, but today it consumed us both. As we ate, we reflected. By the time we had finished, we were both ready to move forward.

"Thanks for coming tonight," Jupiter said, after paying for both of our meals, "I wouldn't have blamed you if you didn't take me up on the offer."

"That was never in the question," I replied, "I needed to see my brother."

Jupiter smiled. We left together, and he made sure I got off the bus safely at my stop. He made a point of saying goodbye to me. Of telling me he'd see me again soon. It meant a lot to hear those words after all the time spent wondering why he'd never said them.

Nova leapt onto my lap the moment I settled myself in bed. I wished I could have brought myself to ask Jupiter more. More on his life here at Kenton during the year we were apart, more on what led him to make the decisions he made. What made him become so cruel so suddenly. Why he was distant for months, allowing me to believe he hated me.

Nova crawled onto my chest, seeming to notice my stress. "I'm okay," I whispered, stroking her back. She purred, calming me. My phone illuminated on the bedside table.

Goodnight Saturn.

The message was from Jupiter. He was trying to make up for lost time, I could tell. The number of nights I went wondering where he was and what he was doing. If he was maybe, just maybe thinking about me too. I'd missed having someone to protect me, someone to talk to other than Regina or the cat. I ached for his attention or even his acknowledgement. Even now that he was back in my life, I wasn't sure I could trust he was here to stay. Still, "goodnight" meant the world.

Goodnight, Jupiter.