𝙨𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙣'𝙨 𝙨𝙪𝙣

𝒇𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒚 𝒔𝒊𝒙

Saturn
• • •

It seemed that now that I was with Calvin, my eavesdropping skills were coming in handy more and more.

After I left Zaire at the shop to take over, I decided to go to Calvin's room. He had left a while before me to quote, "take care of something". In saying this, he of course only made my curiosity ignite further. Just outside of his room, however, I halted in my tracks.

"Are you sure you can't get out of going this time?" I heard Darius ask. Perhaps this would give me the answers I so desperately sought after.

"I'm afraid not," Calvin replied, sounding solemn, "I leave on Monday. There's no negotiating it."

"Seriously, they have to let you do your training at another time," Darius persisted, "the Commander sounds like such an asshole. You didn't sign up for this, Cal. It's so unfair."

Training. Commander. What could this possibly mean?

"No one in my program signed up for it," Calvin said, "it's our fathers' doing. They think joining the military will whip us into shape. But they're wrong. It only ruins our lives."

For a moment, I stopped breathing. The military? Calvin was in the military all this time?

I couldn't stop myself. Now that I finally knew what this was about, I had to confront him. I rammed open the door and both of the boys looked stunned to see me.

Calvin stepped towards me. "Saturn, are you alr-"

"-No, Calvin," I breathed, "I'm not alright. I just heard everything. You're in the military? Why on Earth didn't you tell me..."

Without letting me finish, he pulled me into his arms. I was raging, panicking, and spiralling out of control. He knew that he could calm me, in time. But for now, he needed to shut me up.

After several moments of silence, it was clear that Calvin knew that there was no covering this up. I knew, after all this time. And he would have to accept that. "It was never my intention for you to find out about this, Saturn," He said at last, "I knew it would only bring you unnecessary worry."

"Unnecessary?" I cried, "I know nothing about this, Calvin. For all I know you could have been off fighting in wars for the past eight months."

Calvin forced me to sit down on Tom's unmade bed. I glanced from him to Darius, then back to him. Where were my answers?

"I need you to calm down, please," Calvin said, "this is exactly why I kept this from you. Because I knew it would be hard for you to process that I am completely safe when I go to training."

Darius sat down on his own bed across the room. "I promise, Saturn," he began, "I know all about Calvin's program. My brother was involved in it. He finished a few years ago, completely unharmed. Most of the trainees never see a battle, not unless they continue into the military. They never even leave the base. They only go forward from the experience stronger."

I was still finding this impossible to fathom.

"My father signed me up to change me from a boy to a man," Calvin said with spite, "it's more of a centre for troubled boys than anything, according to him. Though I'm sure he wouldn't mind if I died on a mission."

I shook my head. "Don't talk like that, Calvin," I pleaded.

"I'm sorry," Calvin said, "but the point here is that I am in no danger. You must trust me when I say that. Nothing is going to come between us, Saturn. Especially not this."

This, unfortunately, was the biggest lie he had told me to date.

"When will you be finished?" I asked softly.

"In around three years from now," Calvin said, "after I've finished my extra year of school to make up for lost time, we will both graduate and move on together. Just like you want."

Just like we want, Calvin. Or was that no longer what he wanted? A future with me? To be married to me? To have children together?

"I can tell you're still worrying," Calvin murmured, "take a breath, Saturn. I promise we are both safe."

No, Calvin. Wrong again.

Right now, it felt as though I would never be safe with him again.