𝙨𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙣'𝙨 𝙨𝙪𝙣

𝒇𝒊𝒇𝒕𝒚 𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒆

Calvin
• • •

When I saw my father unboarding the five o'clock bus, it felt as though my worst nightmare was unfolding before my very eyes.

The shop had been dead quiet this afternoon, so I decided to wash the windows. This was normally something I liked to make Saturn do, as watching her stand on her tiptoes to reach was quite amusing. Of course, Saturn was not around, so the task was mine today.

I watched the small afternoon crowds wandering the village as I cleaned. I envied each and every person that walked by the shop. Although I had no idea what was going on in their lives, selfishly, I thought that my circumstances were the worst. This was not true, of course. But in that moment, I wished to inhabit any life that was not my own.

As I studied the village, the bus pulled into its usual stop. At first, I worried that it may have been Saturn, coming to confront me at last. But no, it was much worse. It was him.

My father had not aged well, and it was clear to me why. His beard was overgrown and greying, and he was overall unkept. A once highly respected man, turned miserable by his own decisions. As he approached the shop, I knew that he was there to see me. It was a sight I wished never to witness, him walking through the door of my mother's shop.

"Afternoon, Son," he greeted me, his tone gruff, "I thought I might find you here."

I stumbled backwards, my back colliding with a shelf of books. I took a moment to consider my options. I could flee the shop now, and escape whatever painful discussion met me here. Or, I could hear my father out. I chose the latter, as I remained glued to the bookshelf in shock.

"You're probably wondering what I want from you," my father said, "why don't we sit?" He gestured to the section of the shop that Saturn had named "the reading nook". I followed him over and sat in the chair opposite him. I fought to keep my knees from trembling. His presence was so heavy, it nearly stung.

"I heard about Benjamin," my father said at last, "devastating, isn't it? I trained with him during my time in the program. We were good friends."

Of course, this was why he was here. Benjamin was the trainer who had been killed during the mission a few months back. I wasn't shocked that my father hadn't heard of the boy my age who had died as well. He was likely here to suggest I go on a mission myself.

"It was dreadful," I responded at last, "none of us feel safe anymore in training. I can't even imagine..."

"...Which is why I have decided to intervene," my father cut me off, "I don't feel that this program is what it used to be. Innocent students should not be taken off on missions before they are ready. I believe there are laws against it, in fact. Something this tremendous would have never happened back in my day."

I paused. What was this intervention really about?

"I'm pulling you from the program," my father answered my silent question, "I've spoken to your Commander several times and we've come up with a reasonable negotiation. The terms of which, do not concern you."

I could hardly believe my ears. My father, whom I had not so much as spoken to in a year, had decided to release me from his clutches at last. This had been his final way of controlling me before my adulthood could stop him. I thought that nothing could ever be catastrophic enough to make him change his mind about the program. Perhaps after all this time apart, my father had realized that losing me would be worse than me failing to follow in his footsteps.

My father fidgeted with his collar after I failed to respond for several uncomfortable moments. "I know that this might come as an unwelcome shock for you," He said, and he could not have been more false, "I hope you will take this extra time to focus on your studies and catch up on what you have missed."

"Of course," I nodded shakily, still adjusting to the news, "I...thank you, Father."

"Thank me for what, Calvin?" my father asked.

"For changing my life," I said softly, "this decision is going to help me more than you know. I am grateful for my time in the program but..."

"But what, Son?"

But Saturn, Father. It ruined Saturn. And that ruined me.

"Nothing," I replied, "it's been nice seeing you."

My father took this as his cue to leave. "You as well, Son," He said, "I've missed you. And your mother. This very shop is where we fell in love, you know."

A wave of reminisce fell over us both. Perhaps I was following in my father's footsteps after all. Now that he had removed me from the program, I didn't feel so resentful towards him anymore. "She missed you too," I said after several moments, "Mum does. I think she'd appreciate a visit."

My father nodded. "I'm afraid that I am no longer the man I was when I loved her," He said, "but perhaps someday, she will forgive me. And if I'm lucky, you will as well."

A faint smile crept over my lips. I hadn't smiled in weeks. It was nearly impossible, without Saturn. But this moment was bright enough to remind me what it was like.

"I'm staying in the village hotel for a few evenings," Father said, nearing the door, "I'd like to see you again before I continue on my way."

"Alright," I agreed, "I'll call you."

My father smiled, a foreign sight. "Goodbye, Son." The little bell dinged, and he disappeared.

My father's visit left me stunned. His message could have easily been delivered through a letter, a phone call, or email. But no, my father had come to see me. It was a gesture I never expected from him, not even in my wildest dreams. His words were even more unexpected than his visit. I was out of the program that had caused me so much misery over the past year. It was the very thing that had ruined my relationship with him. Now that it was gone, I couldn't imagine what it meant for me moving forward.

One thing I knew for certain? It meant that I was going to get my Saturn back.