𝙨𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙣'𝙨 𝙨𝙪𝙣

𝒕𝒘𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒚 𝒐𝒏𝒆

Saturn
• • •

Being in Calvin's presence had forever changed since we had kissed. Not only was it nearly impossible for me to focus around him, but he was also...different. Very quiet, very reserved. He seemed to be speculating the kiss as much as I was.    

We didn't speak for a few days after the kiss. Immediately after it had happened, Calvin had become this way. We hadn't studied for much longer before he left for the evening. Calvin had removed my shift for the next day as a reward for working so much overtime on the weekend. I almost wished he hadn't, as I felt myself more drawn to the shop than ever. Now, it wasn't the abundance of books, opportunities, or my friends bringing me into the shop each day.

It was Calvin.

After Poetry class on Tuesday, I took the four o'clock bus down to the village. In the shop, I did not see Calvin. Perhaps I'd actually be able to work if he didn't show.

I wandered the shelves, searching for a task or perhaps a new book to read as a distraction. I went to retrieve a step ladder from the storage room, as I could barely reach the topmost shelf, let alone see the books.

When I arrived in the backroom, Calvin was there. He had a clipboard in his hands and appeared to be surveying our stock of duplicate books from the previous order.

"Hi," I said softly, grabbing my ladder and turning to leave in an attempt to avoid what would surely be an awkward encounter.

"What are you doing with that?" Calvin asked, gesturing to the ladder.

"I need it to reach the top shelves," I said, "I'm short."

"I know," Calvin smirked, towering over me, "be careful, please."

"I always am," I replied, turning to leave. The ladder was heavy, so I had to drag it across the room. I hoped it hadn't scratched the floors, Calvin surely wouldn't be happy about that.

When I climbed up on the ladder, I noticed a thick layer of dust on the top of the shelf. I scanned the others. Each shelf was coated in dust. I was sure Calvin had never cleaned them.

I sighed, descending the ladder and returning to the storage room.

"Back so soon?" Calvin mused.

"Yep," I said shortly, grabbing the cleaning supplies. I felt his eyes follow me back to the bookshelves. I shook my head to clear it before climbing back up the ladder.

As I dusted, I relived the kiss.

I had never kissed anyone before Calvin. I never pictured that I would enjoy it so much. The feeling of his lips against mine was unmatched. It made my heart race just picturing the feeling. His lips moving slowly against mine. His soft touch, careful not to frighten me off. The electric pulse of his fingertips grazing every inch of my bare skin.

As I daydreamed, my vision blurred. Feeling dizzy all of a sudden, I lost my balance on the step ladder. A small shriek left my lips as I fell to the floor. I winced as my head collided with the bookshelf behind me. This was what I deserved for getting lost in my fantasies of Calvin.

Speaking of Calvin, when he heard me fall, he was with me in an instant. "Are you alright?" he asked. His evident concern for me was amusing.

"I think so," I replied. Calvin crouched down and helped me sit up. I felt the back of my head where it had collided with the shelf. Ouch.

"Did you hit your head?" Calvin asked softly.

"Yes," I mumbled.

"Look at me," Calvin requested. I looked up at him, confused. He held up four fingers. "How many fingers?" he asked.

I chuckled. "Twelve," I replied smartly.

Calvin gave me a serious look. "This isn't funny, Saturn," he said, "if you have a concussion, I have to report it." Of course that was what he was really concerned about.

"I'm fine, Calvin," I assured him. I loved the way his composure morphed when I said his name. Suddenly, he would do anything I asked him to.

"Come," Calvin said. He pulled me to my feet and brought me to the reading nook.

"I thought I told you to be careful," he said, sitting down next to me on one of the couches. I did not reply. I was still lost in the memory of the kiss.

"Saturn," Calvin said. He snapped in front of my face. I winced at the noise. "Answer me," he demanded.

"I was being careful," I said defensively, "I just zoned out. It happens all the time."

"I can't let you use ladders if you're going to zone out and fall off," Calvin said, "this was exactly what I was afraid of."

I remained quiet. If he wanted to lecture me about falling off a ladder, he could. I had bigger things on my mind.

"What are you thinking about?" Calvin asked, reading my composure, "there must be something distracting you."

I thought for a moment. Was I really going to bring this up?

"That was my first kiss," I said softly, daring to glance at him to see his reaction. His expression of concern softened.

"Do you regret it?" he murmured. I shook my head. "You don't?" Calvin questioned.

"No," I replied, "do you?"

"Of course not," Calvin said, "I only wondered if you regretted having such a moment with me. I haven't exactly done anything to earn it."

I could think of a few things. Giving me my dream job at a bookshop without question, making me feel as admired as a piece of art, asking me to read to him. Caring for me when I was too drunk to do so myself, allowing me to drift off peacefully in his bed, making me feel less alone. Being toxically attractive.

To prove him wrong, I leaned forward and kissed him softly once more. The electricity returned as my brief peck became much more.

I will never regret kissing you, Calvin McKnight.