𝙨𝙖𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙣'𝙨 𝙨𝙪𝙣

𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒓𝒕𝒚 𝒐𝒏𝒆

Saturn
• • •

I had been reading too much lately, and Calvin knew it.

A few evenings after we returned from London, I lay in Calvin's bed reading The Stars Weep With Us for the second time since his return. Normally I liked to switch up the books I read to keep things interesting, but ever since Calvin had left, I could only seem to manage one.

"You're reading that again?" he asked, returning from dinner.

I did not look up from my page. "Yes."

"Saturn, ever since I got home, you've been reading nonstop," he pointed out.

"I was reading nonstop while you were gone too," I replied, "that's normal for me."

It was not normal for me. At least not to read my comfort book four times in one month. Reading was the only way I could distract myself from my worries. It was my most favourite form of escapism.

Calvin sat down next to me and pried the book from my grasp. I didn't even scowl at him as I normally would. I was expressionless.

"Have you even eaten yet today?" Calvin asked, pushing my hair behind my ear.

I shrugged. "Earlier."

Calvin frowned. "You're worrying me, Saturn," he said softly, "what's going on with you lately?"

"I don't see a problem with me reading," I replied, "I'm an English Major. It's in my blood."

"You know what I mean," Calvin said, "it's constant. You hardly even speak anymore."

I shrugged again. My words were lost somewhere in the darkest depths of my mind.

Just then, there was a sharp knock at the door.

"Who is it?" Calvin called.

"Tom," Tom replied, "can I come in or are you naked?"

"Come in," Calvin said through gritted teeth. I smiled. Tom burst through the door, looking scattered.

"Do you have a pencil, mate?" he asked.

"You don't have one?" Calvin asked with annoyance.

"I snapped mine!" Tom exclaimed, "I got frustrated." I felt sorry for him, he seemed genuinely anxious. Calvin simply rolled his eyes.

I bent down and grabbed my bag from the floor. "Here," I said, handing Tom a pencil.

"Thanks, Saturn-"

I hugged him tight.

Both Calvin and Tom looked perplexed.

"We could both use a hug right now," I explained, returning to the bed.

"Er-thanks," Tom chuckled, "I did need that. Fucking Calculus is killing me."

"Good luck," I replied sweetly. Calvin shot me a look. What was wrong with him?

Tom nodded then gave us a quick salute goodbye. "Night, freaks." He disappeared back into his room.

"Why were you flirting with him?" Calvin asked immediately.

I raised my eyebrow at him. "I was just being nice," I replied, "unlike you."

Calvin's expression softened. "I'm sorry, I know that wasn't your intent," he said, "I'm just terrified by the idea of losing you.

He was so uncharacteristically vulnerable around me, it was beautiful.

"You won't lose me, Calvin," I said softly, "I promise."

He nodded, kissing my cheek gently. He came and sat next to me, snaking his arm around my waist. I relaxed onto his shoulder.

"Is there anything you're worried about, Saturn?" Calvin asked softly, leaning his head against mine.

"Just one thing," I replied, "that you'll leave me again. For longer this time. Or forever."

Calvin adjusted his body so that I lay against his chest. He cradled me like a child. "Listen to me," he whispered, "I cannot promise you that I won't have to leave again. But I can promise that I will never be gone for good. I will always come back to you, my love." He pressed a long kiss to my lips.

"I am so lucky," I murmured, feeling like a true goddess in Calvin's arms.

"You don't think you can find someone better than me?" he smirked.

"Better than you?" I mused, "impossible." He showered me with kisses.

"You need to get some sleep," Calvin murmured. I knew this was code for, please leave before my temptation takes over me.

I looked up at him through my lashes. "Can I stay tonight?" I was enjoying his arms around me too much to be alone.

"Always," Calvin nodded, "this is your room now, too. And don't give me those doe eyes of yours, they drive me mad."

I raised my eyebrow. "What are doe eyes?"

"They're the eyes you give me that beg for me to worship you," Calvin murmured, "put them away. You can use them again tomorrow."

I giggled. He gave me one final kiss before reaching over and shutting off the light. He pulled the sheets up over us and pulled my waist against his.

"Goodnight, Calvin," I whispered through the darkness.

"Goodnight, my Saturn."