I Hate Love✅

45. I Hate Love

When she made it back to her mother's house she was exhausted. Emotionally and physically drained. She wanted to crawl into a ball and crush her heart to pieces. She never wanted to fall in love again, and here she did it again.

And yet again, heartbreak.

"Dear, what happened?" her mother asked when she came into her room and saw her sitting on the floor, struggling to take off her shoes.

She grunted and kicked at them, frustrated and annoyed, angry and confused, her mind was no longer working. Her mother came over and calmly and silently helped her pull the shoes off her swollen feet.

Then she started to pull off her signature fire-red wig, even though it was glued down pretty well. She did not want to be that Ginger Hollands anymore. She wanted to be the basic Ginger with a kinky short fro, tats all over, said what the fuck she wanted, and did not care for anyone.

Her mother simply watched her.

"What happened?"

Her body started to tremble, but no tears came. She had no words, just shook uncontrollably. Her mother sat on the floor, closer to her, and pulled her in her arms.

"My baby, what's wrong? Talk to me."

"D-DJ...h-he hates me. I love him and he doesn't want me, mommy, why can't I be happy?" Still no tears, but the pain was there. A deep, sunken feeling in her chest. Her mother kept rubbing her hair.

"Sweetie, I know you're hurt...but tell me what happened? DJ does not hate you."

"He had another girl over there." She hated to even say that, it was like a knife stabbing into her heart again.

"Okay. Doing what?"

Was her mother slow?

"Mom, they had sex. He has a new girlfriend...or something, I don't know."

"DJ does not have a girlfriend, who would tell me."

"Oh, and you know her. Bethany."

"Bethany...from the Four Seasons?"

"Yes! Did you know about them?"

"He went out with her once or twice but he never said it was serious."

She wished her mother would have told her. Warned her. Then she would not have jumped in the middle of their little menage. She should have left it at what it was at first, just sex. Now she'd told her mother and everything.

"I hate him."

"No you don't," her mother said, kissing her forehead. "And DJ doesn't hate you. He's confused, just as you were. Love is crazy like that sometimes. But I know DJ is not that type of guy."

Her mother was right, she still loved him, not that it would just turn off like a light switch. But somehow she had to get over him.

Her mother slept in the bed with her that night, then she left early to go to her room and get ready for the day. She checked her phone, nothing from DJ of course.

Oh well, it was over. She could move on. Focus back on her career as she should be anyway. She had a flight later that night back to L.A. but she was going to spend time with her family first. She showered and did all her hygiene, then made her way downstairs. As always, her mother cooked breakfast.

"I have five mini waffle makers going down, DIY waffles sweetie, tell me what you would like in yours?"

There was every kind of fruit, flavorings, and toppings lined on the counter. The twins were on their stools mixing batter in bowls. David was at the griddle cooking bacon and sausage. She smiled and tickled Dara's sides, gave Darrel a quick hug, then hugged her mother.

"I want an everything waffle!" she said and grabbed a piece of half-crisp turkey bacon. "Top it with everything you can."

"Do you want to finish on the grill?" David asked, pushing the spatula toward her.

"No, you got this man." She hugged him as well before she to her mother and leaned over the counter to watch her. Then the back door swung open. She rolled her eyes.

"Mmmm, I'm right on time."

She walked away, into the living room. She heard her mother fussing at him.

"I raised you better lil boy, how to treat women with respect and that is my daughter. Fix this!"

She did not need DJ to fix anything. She was over it. Over him.

She sat on the sofa, arms crossed over her chest. DJ walked in, looked her way, and came to sit beside her.

"Can we talk?"

"No."

"Well, I will talk." He picked up her hand and she snatched it away. "I'm sorry."

She scoffed at him.

"I knew you were in town but I didn't think you would come to see me, or wanted to see me because you had what you wanted. Your music, number one, your face plastered everywhere. That just...intimidated me. Your life, your celebrity, all the money, and rich people. You drove Icee's car for fuck's sake. Can't get much bigger than that."

"But I was wrong. I did what I did because I was hurt. You left and I felt like that meant you were done with me. We had our little summer secret fling. You know I wanted more, I told you I wanted more. Gin, I'm not that guy you think I am now...with Bethany, that was just...because I couldn't have you."

"Hey, it's not like you cheated. We aren't together."

"But I want that. Ginger, I am willing to try anything to win you back." He took her hand again and she did not snatch it away. He brought it to his mouth and kissed it. "I am willing to do whatever it takes to show you how much I love you. Always have loved you, from the first moment I met you. The day you left me, and today, how I still feel when I look at you."

"I know it's going to take time, hard work, to make a relationship work...but tell me what you need me to do."

"I don't know." She really did not know. She did not know much about love and what that meant. Did it mean a constant up-and-down battle, falling in love, staying in love? How did people do it for years and years? She felt like she could break any day. And now she felt he would find someone new whenever he was upset with her.

"We have to start all over DJ. I need to trust you." She looked at him, really looked at him, to see if he was really into this. Her trauma was to continuously get hurt by men she fell in love with.

"I can do that."

"And if we're upset with each other, we talk, no matter how mad we are."

"Done." He kissed her hand again. "And don't give up your career for me, this is what you were born to do. I respect that."

"And my money and my fame...I don't want that to affect your life."

"I'm at your beck and call, Ginger Hollands."

She gave him a sly smile. "You have a lot of making up to do with me."

"I know." He leaned in and kissed her. "And I want to spoil you for the rest of my life, starting now. I love you."

"I love you." She kissed him.

"Come on." He stood and held her hand. "Our parents must think we are crazy."

"I think they just want us to be happy."

They walked into the kitchen and her mother was plating up waffles on plates. She raised an eyebrow at them.

"Mom, Dad, I want you all to meet my new girlfriend, Ginger Hollands."

She giggled at that.

"Aww, you two!" Her mother came over to them and grabbed them both in a hug. "Destiny works in a weird, weird way. Come on and eat."

How did her trying to find herself, end with her finding her mother, her family, and love? Maybe love was not a bad thing and she did not hate it anymore.

THE END

Author's note next chapter