Got A Good Ring To It

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HERO

A Few Days Ago

FIFA made way for the new Call Of Duty game as soon as it came out. Felix came home after work with the game ready to play and since he did, it's all we've done. We've got up in the morning, eaten breakfast, worked, come home, eaten dinner and played Call Of Duty now for three nights straight. And strangely enough, it's not got boring or repetitive, considering we're playing online together that is. If anything, for me, it's provided quite a nice distraction away from something I've been putting off repeatedly. Telling the guys what I'm doing.

Even though I've accepted the offer, received the £500 participation fee, had a casting call and been provided with a profile of my fake partner, Josephine, the guys still know nothing about my taking part. They don't know I'm going to be going away for a short while, to film a TV show. Of all things.

Honestly, the reason I've not told them is because I'm fucking nervous. They're my boys, my best friends but I have no idea how they're going to react to this. Will they laugh and call me insane? It's really not me doing something like this. It's a million miles outside my comfort zone. Or will they be supportive and have my back on this? Be just as excited about it as I am because that sweet prize money - even if I have to share it with Josephine - would look incredible in my bank account. We could take a sabbatical together, go travelling and do stuff we've always wanted to do. See the world and its wonders.

One thing I know they'll be, is surprised. I'm completely, wholeheartedly banking on that. Like I said, this is so far out of my comfort zone I'm surprising myself doing this. But I need to find that more I've been searching for and I hope entering the show will give me some of that. Even if it's not all of it, just some of it will do. Who knows, Josephine might even add to that. Gaining a new friend is always something I'm up for.

Our most recent game finished about five minutes ago and our team won for the third time on the trot. Putting the controller down, Morgan places his hands on his knees and stands slowly.

"Anyone fancy a drink?" He asks, walking to the kitchen while looking over his shoulder. I finished my most recent bottle of Desperados in the middle of the last match so I request another one. As does Felix, swigging the last of his latest.

"Everything okay, bro?" Felix nudges my knee, setting up the next game so we're ready. I nod yes, but the niggling feeling to tell him and Morgan about what I'm doing is continuing to build in me. I'll only cause more surprise if I come out of my bedroom the morning I leave for filming with a packed bag and say bye with no explanation. They need to know. As daunting a task as it is for me, they need to know what I'm going into.

"Yeah, Morg bring the drinks over, bro. I've got something to share with you both," I push myself forward slightly on the couch, seeing the surprise and curiosity cross Felix's face. They've known something was off but I've managed to brush it under the carpet to avoid any further questioning. But now feels like the right time to tell them. It's chilled in here, we're relaxed, enjoying our drinks and new game. Anything else would make it feel forced and I don't want that.

"Everything okay, man?" Again I nod yes, sighing as I think of the best way to broach this with them. I push forward to perch on the edge of the couch and watch as Morgan sits back at the opposite end of the couch.

"I- I'm going... to be going away for a while," my voice is edgy and unsure. I can hear the uncertainty in it even though I'm nothing but sure of this opportunity.

"What do you mean?" Felix asks, taking a sip of his drink.

"You going on holiday without us? You fucking off to somewhere sunny, bro on that fancy company you work for?" Morgan chips in, making all three of us laugh. Work has occasionally treated people who've exceeded expectations in work. But that's not the case here. There's no easy way to do this other than to rip it off like a band-aid.

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