No Need To Apologise

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JOSEPHINE

Fuck me, I've not felt this rough in... well, ever. I feel like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards ten times and then chucked off a building. My head is pounding and the room is somehow still spinning even though my eyes are still yet to focus completely. Jesus, what did I drink last night? Sighing, I silently admit to myself that perhaps the question I should be asking myself is what didn't I drink last night? I mixed my drinks for sure. I've never felt so shit after a night of drinking and believe me, me and Mia have had some nights.

I can't even bring myself to sit up. Not at the moment anyway. Not only is my head pounding but strong arms hold me firmly in place. Hero - from what I can gather - is sleeping soundly behind me. I bet he's taken two paracetamol or something before he came to bed after me. I'm ashamed to say I remember everything from last night. And I mean everything. There's just one small gap in my mind while I was dancing with the girls then my mind skips to Hero taking me to bed.

Squinting and focusing my eyes as best I can, I decipher that the clock reads just after 10am. We've slept in quite a bit but I suppose that's no surprise after last night. I've no idea what time we came back here after the party and drinks. Nor have I any idea about what time I actually shut my eyes and fell asleep.

Carefully, I begin to wriggle my way slowly out of Hero's hold and push myself to sit up. As I expected, my head begins to pound even more, feeling like I'm carrying a weight on top of me. I'd say I'm never drinking again but that would be a definite lie so there's no point in even thinking or saying that. Hero is sleeping soundly like I thought he would and I don't want to disturb him so I tuck the duvet back down and push to stand.

My legs feel wobbly like jelly. Like they could give at any moment and I'd be a heap on the floor. For extra reassurance, I keep one hand on the wall, unsure where to go until I spot a pack of Paracetamol lying on the cabinet by the wall-mounted TV. Carefully, I step around the room, keeping my hand against the wall for security and guidance until I can lean my weight onto the counter with the tablets waiting. I pull out the strip and pop out two for myself before placing them back in the packet and on the counter again. Hero probably won't need these but you never know.

After swallowing them down one by one, I decide on having a nice hot shower to wake me up. I feel groggy and tired and I know I'll enjoy a nice hot shower right now. Also, I won't be in Hero's way if he wakes up and feels the same if not worse than me this morning. Eating something anytime now isn't on my agenda but perhaps it might be after my shower.

Carefully pacing into the en suite, I close the door and lock it behind me. I reach out and turn the knob to release the water from the pad in the ceiling and watch as it starts to run. Quickly the room fills with steam and condensation builds on the glass, telling me the water is at temperature. I slowly remove my underwear, remembering Hero carefully and respectfully taking my clothes off for me last night before letting me collapse into bed. My whole body is aching, not only my head so I'm hoping the hot water will help soothe my aching muscles.

As I've said, I remember pretty much all of last night. It was a good night, better than I thought it'd be. There's nothing worse than being excited about something then it being a complete and utter flop. I always find disappointment hits harder when that happens.

I remember us arriving in the kitchen, the drinks flowing, various conversations happening, people - including me - doing shots of God knows what, Danielle bringing her Bluetooth speaker in, hooking it up to the TV and playing music through it. Then there's the blank space right before I called Hero my boy and he took both me and him to bed. Closing my eyes, I focus and wrack my brain about the blank space in my mind. I don't know why but I feel like it's something pivotal that happened. As in I did something. I don't feel like it's something I said, I'm usually good with my words. Even when I'm wasted.

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