Love At First Lie | Herophine Fic

Beggars Can't Be Choosers

JOSEPHINE

Holy hell, my head is banging. I feel like there's an overactive construction site working optimally in my head. It's too busy for me to handle right now. My mouth is dry like it's been days since I drank anything. With every little movement of my waking up, a fresh bang hits me.

I don't remember the last time I was this rough from drinking. But it serves me right. As Mia said, it's self-sabotage. Something I shouldn't be dealing with but something that felt right. And even just for a split second, it helped me forget about my current, shitty predicament. I'd say I drank more than I thought, but I remember every drink. I remember it all.

Sitting up carefully, I cradle my head with my hand and close my eyes. This partially helps me to get my bearings while I settle myself. This is awful. I don't even feel sick, I think I'm past that. I just feel shit. Utterly shit.

Hearing the noise of footsteps outside my bedroom, slowly, taking my time I swing my legs over the side of the bed and pause just for a second before standing. As I push up, I gradually straighten my wobbly legs. There's no way I'm doing anything overly excessive today. I can't manage it. But there is something I have to do before anything else. I have to apologise to Mia. I dragged her into my shit when I shouldn't have. I knew that yesterday and I know it even more now.

Carefully, I pace towards my closed door and grab the robe hanging on the back of it. Wrapping myself up, feeling the chill in the air, I pull my door open hearing Mia in the distance getting ready to leave for work. With every step I take the pounding in my head intensifies. A fresh bang ricochets off my skull. But I have to do this then I'll sort myself out with some water and pills. And perhaps return to my bed. Because this isn't going to go away on its own.

Continuing down the hall, I push on into the living and kitchen area, seeing Mia's bag open on the couch.

"Ohh, she has risen. Sleep well?" Mia asks, sarcastically. I can hear the annoyance in her voice. I knew this was coming. I'd be exactly the same if the boot was on the other foot.

"Mi, I -"

"Jo, I don't have time for this. I've got to leave for -"

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry for last night. It was... wrong of me to drag you out and into my shit. You didn't deserve it," I say, pushing the pain that's attached to every word to the back of my mind. She sighs heavily, dropping something into her bag before turning her attention to me.

"Yeah, it was wrong, Jo. You don't just go out and drink your woes away. It was fucking stupid and you know it," Jesus, she's taking no prisoners. But it's what I deserve after what I did.

"I know. I wasn't thinking. It won't happen again, I promise," I'm running out of things to say to her. Her bluntness is throwing me off but in all honesty, I should have expected this reaction from her. I deserve this, it was wrong of me.

"I know you weren't. And I really hope not, because I won't be having any part of your self-sabotaging regime, Jo. If you're supposed to find him, you will. If not, I hate to say it but you're just going to have to forget and move on," her words massively surprise me. I didn't expect this from her. But again, I perhaps should have expected this. She's annoyed with me and has every right to be.

I stand in place, watching her continue to pack her bag ready for work. She'll be leaving soon but I don't feel like this is the end of our conversation about this, somehow.

"I've got to get going, Jo. Why don't you spend today looking on social media? Everyone's on it, it might help you find him," her voice is softer now as are her eyes. She looks at me with nothing but complete calm now and I know - for now - she's said her piece. Not wanting to push my luck, I simply nod in agreement, deciding on doing exactly what she's suggested. Everyone's on social media nowadays and while I barely use it and know Hero shares my feelings on it I can't not look.