Love At First Lie | Herophine Fic

Food Or Football

HERO

I've been in the same position on the couch for... I've no idea how long. It could be seconds, minutes or hours. I've no idea. But I've not moved since I fell here after arriving home. Why should I? I have nothing to do other than unpack and recount the morning that's passed. It's replayed in my mind like a movie on repeat. The way the car slowly pulled away from the house, leaving her behind won't leave my mind.

I'm so fucking stupid, I should have said I'd wait for her. I didn't say anything. She must hate me for leaving her there. Abandoning her while I was helplessly sitting in the car that drove away, bringing me here. Every time I close my eyes, I see the house getting further and further away as the car heads towards the main road, leaving her there.

I had her this morning. We were in bed together, curled around one another as we should have been. I should have told her how I felt before we were ripped away from each other. All I told her was everything I felt was real, which isn't a lie. It's nothing but the complete and utter truth.

But I didn't tell her how I feel about her. I've fallen for her. Head over fucking heels. In hindsight, perhaps I fell for her long ago. Perhaps even back in The Corinthia. Being torn away from her has only confirmed this for me more than I already knew. Besotted, smitten, infatuated... Any adjective that can be used to convey my adoration for Jo who I shared my time with in that house can be used. What I feel for her is so much, like my chest could burst.

Without a shadow of a doubt, Jo is the something I went into the show looking for. But life has strange ways of giving you what you need at the exact time you need it. Usually, without you even knowing you needed what's been given to you. She's what I need. Jo. My Jo. My buttons. The girl I've fallen irrevocably fallen in love with. The girl I wanted to win with and run away with to enjoy our winnings and enjoy her too.

But given our elimination, none of that is possible now.

Feeling my legs seizing up, I slowly push myself to stand and sigh heavily. My head falls back as I begin to trudge over to the front door and collect my case. I don't have the energy to do anything but in my situation right now, I've just got to go through the motions. Grabbing the handle, I pull it up and begin to drag it behind me while heading to the closed door of my bedroom.

Briefly, I pause. I've no idea why though. Every time I've entered a bedroom for the past God knows how long, she's been there. Either waiting for me in bed or entering with me. Doing this alone, knowing she's not on the other side of the door feels... strange. Foreign. Like it shouldn't be happening. Because it fucking shouldn't be. My hand stays static on the door handle, not willing to press down. Even here, a place she's never set foot in, echoes of her surround me. Reminding me of just a small part of our little bubble.

After contemplating, eventually, I press down on the door handle and push the door open. Staying put, the door slowly swings open and I see my bedroom for the first time since leaving for The Corinthia. Like out here, nothing's changed. Everything is exactly how I left it, meaning Felix and Morgan haven't gone in here as I'd hoped. My room is my room. We're guys, best friends even, but we respect each other's space.

I lift my case onto the bed and unzip the front, pulling it open to fall to the right. It feels strange to see everything in my case. Like it shouldn't be in there, it should still be back in the house, in mine and Jo's room. Our room. But instead, it's scrunched into piles. Evidence of my upset that our time in the house has come to an end. And unknowingly, my time with Jo too.

My bedroom doesn't feel like mine. It feels like someone else's. I wish I was back in the room with Jo. In our own little bubble, wrapped around each other. It's ridiculous how much can change in a matter of minutes and hours. Saying see you shortly and glancing over my shoulder at her turned into our goodbye. But it shouldn't have been our goodbye at all. I should have waited for her and insisted I be there for her.