Love At First Lie | Herophine Fic

The Waiting Game

JOSEPHINE

Slowly, my eyes begin to blink open but it's not inviting winter sunlight that greets me. Instead, it's grey clouds and the odd droplet of rain that falls heavily onto my window. No surprise there. The weather's been like this for the last few days and doesn't show any signs of changing.

This alone has only added to my mood. It's now day... God knows of pretending I'm okay. Even though, deep down, I'm far from it. But that's how I have to be. Not only for my sake because I would well and truly be on the path to self-sabotage by now if I didn't but also for Mia too. I know she's still worried. Even if she hasn't said anything outright to me.

I've had zero luck in finding Hero and I've lost count of how many weeks it's been now since I returned home. I really thought and desperately hoped that Charlie, the producer would return my hopeful email about sharing Hero's details with me. But she didn't. I got nothing back at all. I suppose people in her profession are one, busy and two will only reply if it benefits them. Casting me benefitted her, that's all.

My only options now are to either give up - which I really don't want to do - or hope for the best. Hope that one day, randomly I'll see him on the streets of London and we'll have that novelesque reunion I hope both of us crave. As Mia has said a few times now, if we're supposed to find one another, we will. And I do believe in fate so I'm hoping that's on my side.

But that doesn't mean I haven't and don't think about him every damn day. Today, like yesterday and the day before, he's the first thing on my mind. And tonight, when I go to bed, he'll be the last thing on my mind. His green eyes, his soft dimpled smile and his soothing touch. All these small things made him, him.

And of course, because of my thoughts part of my mind is also haunted by multiple what-ifs about him. Does he think about me like I think about him? Does he think back to our stolen moments alone in that house? Or has he moved on? He's such a good guy, he could have any woman he wanted. Any girl in their right mind would pool at his knees for him, in multiple ways. Has he moved on with his life? Returned to work and got back into his routine before entering the show, whatever that routine may be.

And the one my mind likes to think the most negatively about, has he made any effort to find me? I'd like to think that given our time together, he has tried to find me just as I've searched high and low for him. But he could be anywhere in London. Living the high life in Knightsbridge or Belgravia while I'm here in mediocre Marylebone. Who knows, really? Only him. Which just allows my mind to wander even more.

I find myself having to intervene a lot of the time. Or I'll get carried away and spiral into a frenzy of various possible scenarios. But the top and bottom of it all is that I've still not found him and he's not found me either. So regardless of his feelings on the predicament which could differ greatly from mine - although I highly doubt that - we're still in the same boat.

Sitting up, I stretch my arms above my head as a yawn falls from me. At least my sleeping pattern has returned to normal. I find getting up early with Mia, having breakfast and stuff helps with building a small routine. Otherwise, I'd be spending my days simply lying in bed contemplating what to do next as the minutes ticked by. I pull the duvet off me and push to stand before lazily pulling it back into position behind me. I'll make my bed properly after breakfast.

Wrapping my robe around me for warmth, I tie it in place and open the door to my room. I can hear Mia pottering about already in the kitchen, so I follow the noise until I can see what she's doing. As expected, she's lifted out two mugs and is currently pouring a spoonful of coffee into mine for me.

"Good morning," I sigh tiredly, rubbing my eyes. She looks over her shoulder and smiles, looking equally as tired.

"Morning, babe," she replies, turning her attention back to our coffees. Coffee is just a must in the morning, it gets both of us going. While she focuses on our drinks, I sit down at the table and wait patiently for her to finish. We'll have this then maybe some toast or cereal before she goes to get ready for work.