After the funeral, it rained. Maybe the skies really did know our misery.
"If I had known she was going through something like that...I would've.." I started.
"You would've what? There was nothing you could've done to stop her. Her mind was made up."
I sniffed, looking at the pavement below me. Tyler and I were sitting on a curb, his hand around me.
"You wanna do something fun this weekend?" He asked.
"Like what?"
"Get on a train and runaway to the seaside?"
"What?" I started giggling, "I dunno Tyler...with everything happening right now. I would feel guilty..."
"You know Carol wouldn't have wanted you to be upset like this right? If she was here she'd literally force you on this trip."
I laughed a little, "Yeah. I guess."
A wistful look came on his face, "Besides..." He trailed off.
"Besides what?"
"Um...No Nothing." He said, "Forget I said anything."
"What? Alright..."
"We're still going on that trip though." He said, smiling. He got up and held out his hand for me and I grabbed it.
"For now, let's go home."
-
I sat in my room, looking at pictures of Carol and me. It was traumatizing. If only I had known. I had never even asked. If I had asked then maybe I could have helped.
Who knew such a bright smile hid so much dark secrets.
Tyler had done his best to comfort me, even Hailey, but I still couldn't shake off the guilty feeling.
The only thing that kept me going the rest of the week was that trip Tyler had promised me.
I asked Hailey about it and she said yes, as long I came back that afternoon. Meaning that we would have to go really early. Either way I was looking forward to it.
Carol would have wanted me to go.
Wouldn't she?
Wouldn't she?
