5sos Imagines

The Passport M.C (Part 2)

Present

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I chanted in a hushed tone while hopping around the hotel room with a stiletto in one hand while trying to fasten the other one on my foot. The five star hotel's plush white carpet brushed against the sole of my one bare foot while the sounds of the TV set drolled on. I had forgot what I had even put on, and it was then that I was forgetting to notice a lot of things. Like how I was supposed to be down at the lobby 15 minutes ago and the smell wafting from my curling iron probably wasn't normal. Luckily I had finished my make up routine so I could avoid having to shakily apply mascara in the car and mouthing expletives

I huffed in frustration when I realized that the shoes were not cooperating with my feet. Releasing a defeated sigh, I flopped on to the duvet covered bed and jerked my foot into one of the heels. I could already predict that these shoes were going to turn my feet into pudding by the end of the night but i couldn't show up to the restaurant in anything less. They were my nicest pair, a gift from Michael about two Christmases past. I would be lying if I said that the choice of wearing these shoes tonight wasn't deliberate. The idea of wearing the heels he had seen me in numerous times would spark some type of compassion in his eyes again when we see each other tonight. Granted, my effort to look good tonight wasn't exactly contingent on his approval so much as the company he was bringing with him.
As much as I wanted things to go back to normal with Michael, I had to be realistic and know if was a pipe dream to expect that. A surprise pregnancy doesn't mend the shaky relationship, if anything it complicates it. Which was something both of us were experiencing first hand at the moment. Over the last few weeks, we had been treating each other too delicately. Walking on eggshells because we didn't want to set the other off. Being under so much pressure to keep up the charade that everything was fine or that we were just "working on our friendship", had really taken it's toll.
There were so many things I wanted to talk about with him, so many things I wanted to apologize for. But there hadn't been one moment in the last three weeks where I could feel comfortable enough to speak about them. Our topic of conversation mostly revolved around the baby rather than the status of our relationship. Which I knew was probably the best thing for us right now but it still was grating having to lie to your roommate about who you were skyping at 3 in the morning. It was also getting difficult faking hang overs to explain the frequent episodes of nausea.
So far only his parents knew, and we hadn't even intended on them knowing so early. It was actually more of a guess rather than a reveal when his mother heard about Michael staying back in America for a few extra weeks. Management released a statement claiming it was due to "stress" which sparked rumors of drug or alcohol abuse. This must've worried his mother until she noticed that many of the candid pictures fans were getting of him had me lurking in the background.
She must've came to the conclusion that whatever was going on with me had to be pretty serious if I had convinced Michael to support me with it. Yeah, she wasn't my biggest fan either. I didn't blame her though, I'd be the same way if someone fucked over my son and proceeded to drag him back. Needless to say the big reveal of my pregnancy to his parents wasn't necessarily a happy one. From what Michael had told me, it was over a phone call and in his words was "so fucking awkward."
However, as the weeks go by, his mother has been making a significant effort for us to try to get along. Which I of course have been trying my best to return her generosity. She was the only person in his life that was willing to give me a second chance, something I didn't take lightly. So every few days I receive a text from her reminding me to take my prenatal vitamins and the occasional buzzfeed article why breastfeeding is the healthiest choice for a baby.
One time she sent me a picture of some of Michael's baby clothes, asking if I would like them. I remember tearing up at just the question because although this was something neither of us wanted for at least another ten years, she was still enthusiastic and excited.
To be honest, I was never that nervous about his parents reactions considering that they had liked me at one point. And even if they were still reluctant to let me in again; I know eventually they will forgive me. Just like Michael says he has, even though we have no idea what our relationship is.
We're not dating yet we sleep in the same bed and he kisses my cheek every time he leaves. He holds my hand when no one's looking and plays with my hair when he tries to fall asleep at night. It was complicated, yet I'd take any bit of him I could get at this point. Each day that I wake up in his arms, I wonder how in the world I thought I belonged anywhere else at one point.
Back to the point, I wasn't that nervous about the day when the truth comes out. It's going to happen eventually, and the opinions of sixteen to nineteen year old girls never had affected me. All of my social media accounts are either nonexistent or private, so hate comments aren't even available for my viewing unless I go looking for it. Which I have no idea how bored I'd have to be to do that.
The opinions of others don't scare me. The looks on his management team's faces don't scare me. Raising a son or daughter in a world that seems to be getting more fucked up by each passing day, doesn't scare me. Being a mother doesn't scare me even if I lacked one that ever cared about me. The possibility of Michael leaving me saddens me but it doesn't scare me.
There isn't one thing I'm scared of,but rather, there are three. And their names are Calum, Luke, and Ashton.
Those three didn't just simply "dislike" me. They loathed me, despised me. Especially now that Michael had been spending time with me again and refusing to give any of them an explanation as to why. It was safe to assume that they imagined it was because I lured him back in with false promises or phony apologies. Even if neither of those things were true, and what brought him back was actually the form of a living child growing inside me. Of course, they weren't aware of that and as far as I knew, they didn't even suspect anything along those lines.
Which was why this dinner was such a big deal; we were finally going to tell the rest of the band about our secret. You'd think that we would've made things formal like this when we discussed it with his parents but that was as casual as it got. A fifteen minute phone call I wasn't even apart of and now I'm receiving Pinterest links to nursery ideas from his mother. Not that I was complaining, it did take a lot of stress off of me now that his parents were easing themselves into this new change with open minds.
I've been putting off telling my own parents, not our of fear but rather the inconvenience of it all. They're divorced, so getting them to be civil towards each other and being in the same room together is an obstacle itself. Neither of them really are concerned about me so much as which one of them has to have me at Christmas. Both of them have remarried and are either pumping out replacement kids of their own or lounging in a beach in Cancun. I'm also adopted so it's weird being abandoned by two sets of parents. Especially when you got to know one set until they fell out of love with each other and the idea of being a family. Now I'm just the constant reminder to both of them of a failed marriage. In hindsight, I'm going to have to tell them eventually but I know neither of them will be that beside themselves with excitement. I'm lucky if I even get a visit out of them when I go into labor.
I was just fastening the latch on my other stiletto when I felt my phone rattle on the black granite nightstand. I jumped in surprise before releasing a harsh sigh, leaning over the spacious bed to retrieve the jittery object. Michael's name flashed across the screen and I grimaced, aware that there was no other reason he'd be calling me if I wasn't so late.
Answering the call with the swipe of my thumb, I took a deep breath and ran a hand through my neatly styled hair.
"I know, I know," I sighed into the receiver before he could even voice a greeting to me. "I'm going as fast as I can, I shouldn't be too much longer I promise."
Balancing the phone in the crook of my shoulder while searching for my beaded clutch, stuffing a handful of breath mints and anti-nausea pills. Closing the clutch with a snap, i began to rifle through my tin jewelry box I won at the fair over ten years ago. I had been collecting numerous types and styles of jewelry, tossing each piece into the tiny box in hopes of building a stunning collection of priceless pieces one day.
"Don't worry about it, Y/N," Michael's familiar, deep voice echoed over the receiver, sounding every bit as understanding as his words did. "Nobody's rushing you, okay? I know how you get-"
"Don't downplay this, you don't have to feel obligated to defend me all the time." I breathed while finally selecting a pair of emerald earrings that sparked memories of Michael's eyes reflecting off the street lights on long car drives in the summer. Trying to hold back gasps of amazement each time we passed another breathtaking view of the city lights on the water or the waves lapping up on the shores of Melbourne. The salty air flowing through open car windows, weaving through my hair and kissing my smooth, balmy skin.
"I'm not bullshitting, bubbles," he admitted, casually dropping the old nickname he once gave me due to my liking of warm afternoon baths after a long day. He used to tease me about the fact that I still used Disney Princess themed bubble bath, but it was the only kind that made me feel relaxed. It also brought back happier memories of when my parents still got along and would run baths for me in their jumbo sized tub. 'Fit for a princess,' they would say with broad grins and warm eyes filled with love.
"They're not even here yet." Michael claimed, however his voice revealed the credibility to that remark. I froze in the process of sliding my coat on and rose my eyebrow, as if he could see my skeptical expression. Propping one hand on my hip, I snorted.
"Is that the truth, or are you just trying to calm me down?" I asked, predicting how he would answer my assumption. I could practically hear his internal debate over the receiver, but he didn't relent.
"No, I swear babe!" He exclaimed, his voice going up an octave which usually meant he was lying. "Now forget I even said-"
"Do you swear on the band?" I interrupted, testing both his loyalty and honesty with this question. A chuckle crackles over the received which meant he was apparently amused by this question.
"Yes." He answered affirmatively without a hint of hesitation. I nodded my head, before realizing that I perhaps had made it too easy for him.
"Do you swear on my life?" I asked, trying to come across in a teasing manner but was slightly curious as to what he'd say considering I still wondered if he was being truthful. Michael always had a hard time with putting pressure on me or criticizing something I did. He jokingly made fun of a lot of stuff I did but when it comes to addressing me when I fuck up, he finds any way to avoid doing it. If I wasn't so keen on making him break this habit, I'd become extremely codependent on Michael's coddling ways.
The voice on the other side of the phone was silent, I could practically see his mouth opening and closing; trying to find the words to respond to me with. With this brief pause, I took the opportunity to spray a few spurts of perfume on and gave myself one last once over in the mirror. Pleased with what I saw, I fluffed my hair before hearing Michael sigh over the phone.
"Well...uh...shit..okay-" he sputtered before I interjected him with another promise that was sure to give me the truth.
"Do you swear on our baby?" I asked, biting my lip to hold in my laughter as I heard him groan in an exaggerated way.
"You just had to drag that into it! You know my weakness and you still use it against me!" He exclaimed jokingly, his voice higher with dramatic emphasis. "Fine, they're all here and they've all been waiting. Is that what you want to hear?"
My laughter subsided once he uttered those words over the speaker. I fumbled for my things before ripping my door open, leaving my hotel room in a haste after my suspicions had been confirmed. I'm always late to everything. It's really a terrible habit to have and of course I possess it. Michael always jokes how I wouldn't last one day at his job, both because I hate getting up early and my tardiness to everything. He even jokes that I managed to make my period late unintentionally.
"Shit!" I swore, fumbling around my purse in search for the plastic hotel key. "Are you serious? Are they pissed? How many times have I been called a bitch?"
"They're actually being reasonably behaved but that might be because I've been with them this whole time." Michael explained while I jammed the key into the lock to make sure it was working, nodding my head when it flashed the green light. "Don't worry about them, okay? This isn't about those idiots-"
"They're your best friends!" I exclaimed into the phone, punching the elevators button with my thumb as I tried to lower my voice just in case anyone was in the hallway.
"Don't try to spare my feelings when I know how much of a big deal this is. If any of them had a girl like me in their life, you'd think they were crazy! And the worst part is: I'd probably be the same way too! If it wasn't for the baby, you'd be living your life free of complications and some bitch that broke your heart because she was scared."
"Hey! Enough with the pity party, alright." He sighed, the elevator doors opening and luckily revealing an empty chamber. I entered the lift before pressing the button for the lobby as I awaited what was bound to be another lecture from him trying to convince me I wasn't the heartless birth everyone, including myself, made me out to be.
"You don't get to speak for me, Y/N. Don't tell me how I'm supposed to feel or whom I'm supposed to love, I'll make those decisions for myself. I don't care if my friends don't understand what we have and I especially am not going them get in the middle of it. You think I care what three guys who've never been in love think? They don't get it now, but someday they'll see how fucking stupid they're being about all of this."
I sighed shakily, feeling a tiny bit of pressure off my shoulders as the elevator made it's descent to the lobby. The warmth of my phone and the sound of Mike's 'sincere' voice, brought a blush to my cheeks.
"And yeah, maybe my life would be a little bit more simple without you in it. But any other life without you is boring and lonely, and pretty much unbearable to me. Even when we weren't together, and I thought I fucking hated you; I knew that I'd never love someone even half as much as I love you. That is, until I found out about the baby."
My breath hitched at the mention of the baby, following a feeling of butterflies erupting in my stomach. I swallowed down my tears, cursing my stupid hormones as Michael's heartfelt words swarmed my senses.
"You know it's crazy, I never thought it was possible to love something before even seeing it or holding it, but I think I've proven myself wrong. God, I sound like such a pussy, please shut me up before someone walks into bathroom and cuts my balls off."
I silently thanked myself for using waterproof makeup because the tears were beginning to lightly trickle down at his moving confession. I sniffled before lightly letting out a chuckle at the ending of Michael's words. He was always so insecure about being too emotional yet he didn't realize that it was a strength rather than a weakness.
"No Mike, it was very sweet." I confessed, wiping a few more tears that had managed to escape before releasing a heavy sigh. "You always know exactly what to say."
Michael snorted, "Really? Because I just pulled that out of my ass but at least you bought it!" He joked as I rolled my eyes at his teasing. Shaking my head as the elevator doors parted to reveal the glossy lobby we were staying at. Still clutching my phone in one hand, I tried to fast walk to the front entrance of the hotel and on to the streets of London.
One of the doormen opened the door for me with a smile as I mumbled a thanks and instantly spotted the black SUV Michael had sent for me. Luckily, their management team booked two hotels for the boys so the fans wouldn't be much of an issue. Luke and Calum were staying in the Ritz; while Michael, Ashton, and I were staying in the Four Seasons. Thankfully, the fans were still scrambling for hotel addresses or at least that's what I'd been told.
"How can you still manage to be a little shit even when I'm complimenting you?" I asked teasingly, climbing into the SUV and slamming the door with a loud smack. The driver ignored me either because I kept him waiting for 15 minutes or he was instructed to be silent. "Fuck, I'm not supposed to be swearing!"
Michael's musical giggle filled my ears as I rolled my eyes. We were supposed to be in this together, and I had expressed to him that neither of us should be swearing so much as parents. He brushed it off with a laugh the last time I brought it up, which like now he was laughing about again.
"I'm so glad I have your support with this." I remarked dryly, waiting for his laughter to subside while trying to hide the smile threatening to spread across my face.
"I'm sorry! It's just you even managed to swear while lecturing us not to swear, and you didn't even notice it." Michael commented after he had managed to catch his breath.
"Fuck, you're right-WAIT SHIT!" I swore again, causing Michael to explode in another round of laughter. Wherever he was I could hear his boisterous laughter echoing off the walls, something I discovered was one of my favorite sounds.
"Just face it babe, our kid's first word is gonna be fuck....," he was silent for a few seconds before snorting again. "Or balls."
I noticed his voice drop a few octaves, causing my eyebrows furrow and smirk slightly.
"Since when do you whisper the word 'balls'?" I asked with a chuckle, before adding: "usually it's the opposite, I can't get you to shut up about it. You're worse than a 14 year old boy."
"Since I've been speaking to you in a public restroom which up until about two minutes ago was pretty much deserted." He admitted in a whisper, causing me to bite my lip to contain my laughter.
"Is he in the stall or the urinal?" I asked, hoping my driver wasn't paying too close attention to our now very strange conversation. Michael exhaled in what I could only assume was relief.
"The urinal, thank god."
"What does his cock look like?" I asked, trying so hard to stay serious but failing as a few giggles escaped my lips. Michael gasped, sputtering over the phone which only made me laugh harder.
"Y/N! I can't answer that even if I was-"
"Oh c'mon, you honestly didn't sneak a peak? That's what I would do. " I teased, watching the buildings pass out my window with a smile as I clutched the phone to my ear.
"Uhh no? I don't really feel like getting punched in the face today" He answered as if I were a crazy person, "It's not like I've never used a fucking men's room before."
"Is he at least hot?" I asked, this time letting my laughs out as I awaited his response.
"Oh my god, I'm hanging up on you." He threatened, his voice showing a light teasing quality to it. I laughed out loud at his response, something I felt like I hadn't done in awhile. Michael always had a way for bringing the playful side out of me.
"Okay, okay I'll stop!" I promised with one last giggle. He sighed in relief over the receiver, I could practically see him running his hand through his no doubt trademark messy hair. A silence fell between us for a few moments before I released one last giggle.
"So was he bigger than you or-"
"NO!" Michael exclaimed, this time his voice was at regular volume. Signaling that the stranger at the urinal most likely left the room.
"So you did look?" I teased one last time as he let out an exaggerated groan of annoyance.
"I'm hanging up now-"he began before I interrupted him with more laughter.
"Okay I'm done now, seriously I promise." I spoke with as much sincerity I could muster in the midst of laughter.
"God, why do I even love you again?"