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My knees bounced up and down under my desk

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My knees bounced up and down under my desk. I've been stressing over last night. I should not have kissed her. At least not like that. It was wildly inappropriate. It also left me petrified for Tuesday - our official coming out appearance.

In the space of twenty-four hours, my perspective of her flipped and the kiss just added to it all. She's incredible and I hate it. I want to hate her, but she's making it so hard to.

I've lost sight of the annoying girl I dislike. Now, every time I pick on an aspect of her that may be off-putting, it has a completely reasonable excuse. Or it isn't actually off-putting and I'm just grasping for straws. Something I can cling onto as a reason for my hatred.

Teenage me is screaming 'traitor'.

Yeah, she made high school a living hell for me, but that grudge expired six years ago when I grew the fuck up and stopped thinking about my adolescence altogether.

I managed to get enough work done this afternoon, despite my absent mind. By dinner time I was making my way out of my office. Just as I was pressing the button for the elevator, Samuel stuck his head out of his door. "Elijah?"

"Yeah?"

"I sent Lowen's manuscript to the printers. We should have the first five-hundred copies by mid-week. I'm just about to review the list of contacts you gave me- are they all getting a free novel?"

"I'm going to run it by her, but yeah. We'll send them a novel and an invitation to the release party. If they're smart, they'll want to show their faces."

Being in this industry I have met and also created famous authors. Lowen is bound to be our biggest hit, and if any of our past business partners want another 30 seconds of fame, they'll show, and maybe even write a nice little review. The more advertising, the better, right?

"Okay. I'm sure she has contacts in the music industry that she'd also want to invite, will you ask?"

This book launch will not be a simple, library scene with a bit of champagne and a few friends. This will be a ball. A gala. A party fit for a queen. It will host not only some of the cities most popular authors, but now influencers and music artists too.

"Of course. I'll get you a list before the books arrive."

"Perfect, thanks."

"Good night."
I stepped into the elevator, going to the ground floor. I drove to work today with the plan to go to the gym afterwards.

I had prepared myself to see Lowen's face again on Tuesday evening. That would have given me forty-eight hours to prepare. But now Sam needs a list before then. I could arrange to meet her tomorrow, or, I could be a pussy and just call her.

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