If by Chance - A Jonathan Knight Fanfic

Chapter 9

The drive there was full of a bunch of awkward silence. Vanessa had tried to start a conversation several times, but Jon either hadn't been paying attention, or didn't have anything to say. He kept his eyes on the road, and his hands at the classic '10 and 2' on the steering wheel, his knuckles turning white more than once, from gripping it so hard.

He knew he wasn't gonna make it on time. That wasn't even a question anymore. Vanessa had taken way too long to get ready and pack her stuff, and it didn't help that they had gotten stuck behind several accidents during the trip.

Honestly, he didn't even think he'd make it before the show ended. Just another bad consequence of a stupid decision. He swore to himself that would be the last time anything like that would ever happen again. He didn't know what else could possibly go wrong if he messed up that badly a second time.

"Jon, you're really stressing me out. You haven't looked away from the road this entire time, and you've been so tense I'm surprised you haven't given yourself a heart attack." Vanessa remarked, after what seemed like hours of prolonged silence.

His eyes just briefly glanced over at her, quick enough that if she had blinked she probably would have missed it. "Look, I'm sorry, okay. But it just doesn't feel right being here with you. Are we even gonna talk about what happened last night?"

"I didn't think we had too. It wasn't just going to be a one time thing, right? The way we talked, I figured we'd at least try a relationship. You said you felt lonely and like no one listened, so I'm here to give you company and to listen. Why do you think I offered to come with you?"

Jon let that thought resinate in his mind for a little. She was right, he had mentioned several times about feeling like he just needed someone to feel the empty void in his life. And he had let her come with him, which probably sent the opposite signal of what he wanted to send.

"Look, I know it probably seems like I want a relationship, but I'm just not ready for one right now. I know it's kind of a cliche thing to say..." He paused, almost like he was trying to make it more dramatic. Maybe make the words hit her more.

"But I'm on the road almost every single day. Going to almost every state in America, and even traveling to other countries. I wouldn't be able to spend time with you. Not to mention how upset thousands of girls out there would get and how brutal they'd be to you, if they happened to find out we were together. It's just not worth it to me right now."

He played that off well, didn't he? It couldn't have possibly gone any smoother than that.

"That stuff doesn't matter to me, but if you're not ready, then I'll wait until you are. I'd wait forever for you, Jonathan Knight." She said as she leaned over and kissed him ever so lightly on the cheek.

He pulled up to the outside of the arena they were supposed to be performing at that night. Instead of a blush appearing on his cheeks, like most guys would get if they just heard that from a girl as beautiful as her, his face just seemed to get pale.

He had clearly just tried letting her down gently. What else would it take? What would we have to do to get rid of her?

His tone of voice seemed to change as he got out of the car. Instead of sounding happy, calm, or even nice, his voice just held anger, resentment, and frustration. "Well you're going to be waiting a real long time then."