Untouchable: a Fred Weasley fanfiction

Confused, Un-Confused

The world was frozen before- just for that moment.

Now, it is flipped upside down. Flipped upside down, and spinning backward, and pummeling toward the sun, or something. I don't know. It's everything, all at once.

My lips are on fire. I try to rub them, as if the feeling will go away. As if the memory will go away. As if the panic will go away.

I head straight to my dorm room, without one look back. A few younger years are hanging out in the common room, sprawled on their stomachs reading books or laughing by the fire. I ignore them, walking straight past, bounding up the stairs, and shutting the chamber door as soon as I'm in my room.

No one's here. It's quiet- everyone's still at the party. I'm breathing. Hard.

I rake two hands through my hair, pacing back and forth, back and forth. My brain is shouting at itself, at everything that's happened, at everything.

Slow down slow down slow down slow down

To my heartbeat. My thoughts. My pacing footsteps. It's all too fast. Too much.

I sit on the edge of my bed to force myself not to move. Panting, I rest my elbows on my knees, dropping my head. My ponytail dangles over one shoulder. I shut my eyes.

When I do, I see his face, so close to mine, his eyes squeezed tightly shut, his mouth on mine, his inhale through his nose as he gripped my waist.

I open them again, shaking my head repeatedly.

I'm confused.

I rub my lips again. I touch my lips.

I'm very, very confused.

Looking up, I see myself in one of my roommate's floor-length mirrors across from me. My cheeks are flushed, hair frizzy from the crowded party, eyes wide.

I take a breath. I know why he did it.

I know why he did it, but I wish he didn't. I wish he didn't because everything's all jumbled now. I don't like being jumbled.

He didn't have to kiss me out of sympathy.

He didn't have to try and make me feel better- feel appreciated, or pretty, or whatever the hell reason- by kissing me. Kissing me was too much of a shock.

It was too much of a shock because no one's ever kissed me like that before. 

I drop my face into my hands, groaning. Why was that his choice of comfort?

I know he was trying to be a good friend, but was that really the way? I mean, he could've gone for a hug. The kiss was too shocking. The kiss was too shocking.

I remember the smell of his cologne. The way his mouth felt.

The kiss was too shocking.

A few minutes later, I'm not alone anymore in this room, because the chamber door is creaking open and I look up to see Draco stepping inside.

"Rude of you to abandon me when Ang is occupied sucking face with Buckworth," he says, closing the door. "You disappeared."

I look away, down at my hands again. "Sorry. I'm fine."

He approaches my bed and leans against the post nearest to me, crossing his arms. "Fine, huh? People who aren't fine often say that."

"Really, I am," I insist. He can't know. At least, not right now. Not until I figure out what the hell just happened, exactly. "You can go back to the party. I just needed a breather."