Immature | hyunlix

Unfortunately

I woke up to a painful cramp in my stomach, i thought it was just another symptom of pregnancy, but it was too painful to ignore.
I lifted up the blanket covering me, i was met with a terrifying sight.

There was blood all over the white sheets.

I felt my blood run cold and suddenly I was gasping for air.

"Felix what's wrong? Is everything alright?" Hyunjin asked when he saw me sitting on the bed.

"did you have another nightmare?" he sat up to look at what was happening.
"Oh my god! Felix we need to get you to the hospital right now!"
He jumped out of the bed to get his phone, almost tripping over his own legs to call the ambulance.

I was still frozen at the same spot, trying to process what was going on.

In about 10 minutes I heard sirens outside our apartment.

...
 
Hyunjins POV

I was worried sick waiting outside the Hospital room felix was in. I have never felt more fear than now. It has been about an hour, not a word has been spoken on the other side of the door. I finally heard the nurse saying something to felix.

"you may come to see him" the nurse said when she opened the door.

I took a deep breath and went inside.
Felix was laying on the hospital bed, when his eyes met mine he slightly smiled, but it wasn't a happy smile... He looked desperate and broken.

"was he the father?" the nurse asked Felix.

"yes" he answered, if the room wasn't so quiet that you could hear a pin drop, you probably wouldn't have noticed he said something.

But there was something off... 'was' he the father? I was silently praying that the nurse had made a mistake.

"Unfortunately I must inform you that you've had a late miscarriage, it was due to the baby not developing well and if you hadn't called the ambulance right away... There was a possibility you wouldn't have made it either. Im so sorry, i will take my leave now."

The nurse did as she said, it was just me, felix and a unbelievable amount of tension left in the room.

Felix was the first one to break the silence with his quiet sobs. I immediately sat beside him and hugged him, i knew he always loved physical touch and my presence would calm him down, but this time it wasn't the case, he totally broke  down when i held him. His hysteric cries echoed through the hospital. It was painful to see him like this, i couldn't keep my composure any longer, i cried with him.

...

Felix POV

I've been at home for a few days, trying to recover from the traumatic experience. It's obvious that my mental health is at its ruins right now, the hospital called my parents to inform them of what happened, do you want to know what my father said? 'that baby wasn't supposed to live anyway' in that moment i cut off my family from my life, only keeping in touch with Jeongin, he sent me text from time to time asking if i was okay or if i needed any help even though my parents didn't want him to interact with me... He really is an angel.

While i was looking around my bedroom my eyes landed on a small box sitting on the shelf. I picked it up.

It was the box with a pair of baby shoes that hyunjin bought.

"isn't this what i wanted all along? To get rid of the baby? So why am i depressed..."  When i felt tears dripping down my face, i decided to go out for a walk, hyunjin was still at work after school, so he wouldn't be here for another three hours.

I grabbed the first sweatpants off the clothes pile that has been made over the time I've stayed home. Hyunjin cleaned it up a litte everyday, never getting frustrated with the mess i made even though he liked his apertment tidy.
I put on hyunjins hoodie and left the house with messy hair.

...

My tears dried up in the light wind outside. I've been walking for an hour around the places that reminded me of good times. I saw a restaurant where me, jeongin and hyunjin with his friend group had the best food of our life, i stopped in front of it to look inside.
It took my by surprise to see jisung, chan and changbin inside.

It didn't take long for jisung to notice me and he started waving at me through the glass window, pointing at me to join them. I hesitated for a bit before entering the restaurant and walking up to their table.

"hello mate, haven't seen you in a while!" chan greeted.
"I missed you bestie" jisung got up to hug me.
"good to see you lix" changbin smiled.

"hey guys..."

"god you look like you've been ran over by a truck, what happened to you?" jisung asked.

"jisung don't say things that!" chan quickly stopped him.

"don't worry felix, you always look good" changbin said with a wink to lighten the mood.

We talked for a while, avoiding the topic of my disappearance and pregnancy. I found out that they've been working on a few songs together, they had me listen to them and i must admit that they're really good. They call themselves 3racha or something. It was great that i could once think about something else again.

After two hours Jisung and Changbin left, leaving me and Chris alone at the table.

"um, i know what happened felix... Im so sorry for your loss." Chan said and held my hands.

"h-how did you know? Did hyunjin tell you?" Hyunjin promised me he wouldn't tell anybody.

"yes, he didn't want to tell me at first, but as his older brother i was concerned about you both, what happened was a lot for him too." I could see that Chan was trying to hold back his tears while looking at me.
"I remember when he first told me that you were pregnant, so i knew even before you announced it to us. ..At first I scolded him, but after seeing the happiness in his eyes, i couldn't be angry at him, i know that you're both in a very dark place right now, but remember im always here for you and you can talk to me if you need anything.."

My phone started ringing, it was hyunjin.

"hi jinnie, I'll be home soon okay?" i told him through the phone and hung up.
"I'm sorry, i-i have to go" i said and left the restaurant.

On my way back home i was thinking about what Chan said.

Authors note:
Im so sorry for the angst, but you've read the hashtags and knew it was coming... I hope you liked the chapter anyway.
Thanks for reading!