After Solitude

Chapter 52

Zoey's POV

I sit at the kitchen table, watching as Nik prepares a small plate of food for me.

At least he knows I won't be able to eat much.

Oatmeal with blueberries. I saw him add a sprinkle of cinnamon and a dash of nutmeg so I just know it'll be good.

My stomach has other plans though. It plans on refusing anything that threatens to enter. So, as soon as Nik sets the food in front of me, I already want to reject it and let the feeling of my empty stomach linger.

I try to eat anyways, for Nik's sake. He's sitting in front of me, insuring that I eat what he's given me.

The oatmeal tastes like nothing. Not the usual guilty happiness food gives me, I taste absolutely nothing.

"What's wrong with it?" Nik takes my spoon and steals a taste.

I shake my head, "nothing, it's good." I smile as I lie.

I'm sure it's very good, maybe my taste buds are just as broken as my heart is.

He hums, "it tastes like how Wyatt would make it."

I nod with a small smile, "Wyatt is the chef out of all of us." I agree.

I force down another bite, finding the act of eating slowly becoming a chore.

My eye involuntarily fill with tears. Even when I'm not thinking, I cry.

"I know, love." Nik lays his hand on top of mine.

He must have had to deal with so much death in his lifetime. I wonder if anymore death could possibly phase him, phase any of them. But for me, this hurts just as bad as finding my parents. It brings back all the horrible memories, a new trauma on top of the first one.

"It's my fault." I blurt as I scoop oatmeal onto the spoon and let it drip back into the bowl.

"What?" Nik asks.

"The bullet was meant for me. I should've known Desmond was lying when he said she wouldn't die. It had to of been a powerful poison to kill someone like me."

A long breath leaves Nik's lungs, "so, it's your fault that Desmond...a hunter...shot a supernatural being? Got a big head, don't we, love." He smiles.

I can't help the corners of my lips curling at his joke as well, no matter how hard I try to force it down. It's not that I have a big head, it's the truth.

Nik takes the spoon and shoves oatmeal in my mouth. I should've seen it coming, they don't like when I stall and play with my food.

"I miss her." I admit after swallowing the oatmeal.

He nods, "I know. Me too." He smiles with sad eyes.

I guess we've all grown to get close to each other. Yeah she was most fond of Wyatt, that's only because he's the most approachable. But she liked all three of them and they liked her.

Nik's eyes shift to the entrance of the kitchen, making me shift in my seat to see Jett and Wyatt coming in.

The sit with us, Wyatt next to me and Jett next to Nik.

"It's done?" I ask them.

They both nod. Jett can't even look at me. He must feel the way I do, if I were him, any of them, I wouldn't want to look at me either.

Could I have done more? Should I have done something different?

"She's uh... she's in the sunroom. We didn't know where you wanted her so we just thought you'd like her there since you spend a lot of time in there." Wyatt cracks out.