Downhill

21

The clock ticked as I sat on my sofa Friday night waiting for a knock that would occur any minute. I was feeling good despite some queasy mornings this week.

Well, "good" didn't really describe my feelings. I was crazy nervous.

I'd never had a first date that followed a week of living with someone. And no, I don't count our dinners in the mountains "dates." They were just Jacob saying "do you want to eat" or "let's go eat after." No "would you like to go on a date?"

And with the blessing of Liz for this dinner, I felt like I wasn't hiding anymore. As though I could date him without worry.

But lets face it. Jacob was always the one ashamed of us being together. From our argument at the resort to the recent restaurant fiasco, he was always embarrassed by me. And the way I felt about myself right now, I couldn't blame him.

The water weight or fat - or both - was getting out of control. Which was crazy, because food was becoming less and less appealing. I kept blaming my nerves but I'm thinking I need to see a doctor. Especially since my period is late.

And no! I had a spotty period after the ski trip. There was no way it was anything besides some sort of ailment.

That's why I'm sporting a new backless dress and four inch pumps. I'm hoping that the back exposure and legs will distract from my swollen tummy and boobs.

When the rapid drumming of knuckles against my apartment door rang through my chest, I jumped to my feet like a wet cat. I took a deep breath and straightened my clothing. "Here goes nothing."

What greeted me at the door was a very well tailored Jacob in a crisp suit and tie. An expensive watch poked out of the cuff and Italian leather poked out of his pants' hem. The jacket hugged his shoulders into a triangle shape that must have taken years to cultivate and maintain.

Despite looking a little thinner, he was the same man. Every ounce a man. Down to the new cologne that made me want to dive into his wide chest.

"Hi," I nearly whispered after ogling him.

He pulled his arm from behind his back and presented me with a bouquet of flowers. Not just any flowers, but tulips which were my favorite.

"Thank you," I said with a smile. "Let me just put these in water and we can go...". I was already turned, going to the kitchen as my voice trailed off.

"I like what you did with the place," Jacob said as he slowly walked the apartment to the kitchen where he leaned on the doorframe. He looked like a movie star. Shit.

"Um, thanks. I haven't done too much. Lots of work..." I turned on the faucet to fill a vase. "Tada. I love them." I placed them on the table and admired them for a second.

"Shall we?"

"Yes, of course. Sorry..."

"Nothing to apologize for," he gestured me to precede him to the front door.

Before we reached it, I turned around and startled him. "I'm nervous," I admitted. "And I really don't know if this is a good idea..."

"Oh?" He looked a little sad as I said the last bit.

"I know Liz blessed this dinner but we never really resolved our...issues," I said thinking of the right word.

"Do we need to resolve them to have dinner?"

"Ah um, no?"

"Then let's have dinner and perhaps...eventually we can talk about our...issues. Sound good?"

"Yes," I nodded and turned to open the door. But his hand covered my own and his mouth approached my ear.

"You look beautifully tonight," he whispered. Gah! Why did he always know that my ear and neck were my triggering mechanisms?!