Downhill

22

We ate in silence. My words had chilled the air and choked my lungs. I wanted to take them back and beg him to forgive me. But I wouldn't.

I spend way too much time groveling. Or thinking about it.

"Finished?" He asked as I picked at the green beans on my plate.

"Yes," I muttered as I put my fork down.

"Charlotte? Are we done?"

"Yes, I can't eat another..."

"Us. Are we done?"

I swallowed and finally looked up at him. He seemed concerned. Like my answer could make or break him. I just wasn't sure what he wanted or which answer would do what.

"We um...I uh...don't make me answer that," I said.

"Why? Would you prefer friendship?"

"No," I replied honestly. "We were supposed to be a fling. And then I let my heart get hurt. Now I don't know."

"I hurt your heart," he mumbled to himself. "We should go," he said standing. "I had planned to go to a comedy club, but I'm not feeling very chipper right now."

"Oh, okay," I said standing and placing my napkin over my plate. "I'm sorry, Jacob. I mean, we can be friends if you'd like..."

He stood his full height, shoulders back and neck arrow straight. "I don't want to be your friend," he nearly spat out as he took a step toward me in the small room. "I don't want to hear about your life. I don't want to take a backseat ride. I want..."

He stepped so we were toe to toe. "I want to be driving the car. Not in the backseat," his hands lightly pressed my hips on the wine bottles behind me. "You are mine. Meant for me. I'm not going to stand to the side. I'm not going to let your heart hurt. I'm going to mend it."

One of his hands cupped my jaw, "I'm going to claim it for my own. Your heart will beat only for me. You thought this was a fling? A week of fucking? Hardly that, darling. You promised me that you would never deny me. But you lie to me about how you feel. A fling? Tell me what this is, Charlotte."

I was panting. His words were hitting every erogenous zone in my body and mind.

"Tell me, Charlotte. You need to say the words. Admit your need," he said as his fingers at my side began to lightly move to my exposed back and his lips were hovering over mine.

"I lo...I love you," I rushed it out before I could overthink.

"Good girl," he said as his lips brushed my own. "Was that so hard? Giving me what I want? Giving me your feelings? Letting me mend that big heart?"

"N-no," I said between his light kissed. "Not hard."

"Shall we go to the comedy show? Hm?"

"Yes," I sighed as he lifted his head to observe my face. "I'd like that."

***

During the walk to the car and from the car to the club, Jacob kept his hand lightly touching me somewhere. Whether it was my arm or the small of my back, he made sure I knew he was there.

As we spoked to the bouncer, the hand on my back slid to my side as he pulled me closer. I felt somewhat naked as his fingertips touched my belly.

We finally made it to our seats, and he leaned to my ear. "What do you have under that? You can't be wearing a bra."

"Shh, it's a secret," I said putting my index finger to my lips.

His hand that had been on my belly earlier returned. But it began to move upward. "Nothing is a secret from me, Charlotte. Especially when it comes to this body. Mine."