A Wild Ride (Hell's Tribe MC Series) [Book 7]

Chapter 12: A Good Daughter's Duty

Almost halfway through book 7! Man that went by quickly. Maggie was easily the hardest character for me to write, but probably the one I'm most proud of.

Question of the week: Which female character in the series is your favourite and why? Let me know in the comments before you read.

Enjoy!

~Maggie~ 

Waking up this morning, I felt lighter somehow. 

I was still in my childhood bedroom, looking out the same window that had been sealed shut since I was thirteen years old and learned how to climb out of it. The room hadn't changed, and neither had the window, but I felt different. The chipped paint and faded wallpaper didn't look as miserable today. The view into the backyard looked prettier somehow, the old oak tree lit up with just a dusting of snow on each branch. This old mattress didn't feel as lumpy, and the ugly duvet that I'd had since high school felt cozy instead of itchy like it usually did.

It was so damn weird. Every single thing was the same, but I felt so damn different.

Who the fuck knew spilling your guts to a boy-man who might as well be a stranger would feel so good.

This was the first time I had talked about the incident to anyone in nearly seven years. I fled Tooele the day Fat George died, only to return a couple of weeks ago. Whenever my brain tried to take me back down memory lane in the past, I'd never allow it to wander that far off the beaten path. Fat George's death was not something I wanted to be reminded of. Mostly because of the guilt I felt over it, but also because it was the moment that shit had really changed between me and my parents.

Shit had always been difficult between us, but that day made it ten times worse. The way they looked at me with both disappointment and anger was something I wouldn't soon forget. It was like they were embarrassed or disgusted that any daughter of theirs could have gotten herself into that kind of situation. Admittedly, I was already ashamed of myself for being so stupid, but seeing them agree was like a punch to the stomach. We were all angry and our nerves were shot, but the fight we had at the clubhouse later that night was the last straw for me.

We all said shit, some worse than others, but that moment solidified that it was time for me to go. Mom tried to stop me, but I couldn't do it anymore, I had to leave. I hadn't meant for my absence to go on for so long, but I didn't wanna come back home until I knew I could prove to everyone that I wasn't just the Tribe Trainwreck anymore.

I'd failed at that, but it didn't mean I couldn't still get my shit together.

Talking to Blaze made me realize that all of the shit I was bottling up inside of me was most likely the reason for these damn panic attacks. It was probably mostly to do with the Owen shit, but this stuff with my family sure as shit wasn't helping. I couldn't fix it all, but there was stuff Blaze suggested I try to make it better.

He probably thought I was bat-shit-fucking-crazy for showing up at his place like I did.

Hell—maybe I was. I barely knew the kid, despite the fact that he randomly kissed me only last week, and there I was practically crying on his doorstep like a bitch.

Maggie Campbell does not fucking cry.

I was suffering a moment of desperation and for some reason, I just figured Blaze would understand. These panic attacks were killing me slowly, eating at me more and more every day. Combine that with my shitty behaviour and the fact that everyone was hating on me since my eruption on New Year's Eve, I was willing to take help from anyone who I thought could offer it to me. Despite his warnings that all he could give me was what he knew from experience, the things he suggested did actually help. I hadn't had anything to drink other than a shit ton of water in days, which was a new record since getting here a few weeks ago. I avoided caffeine, was getting plenty of sleep, and made sure to eat somewhat decent food instead of the few bites I'd pick at of a bag of chips or some cookies. I'd even gone on a walk yesterday morning even though it was cold as shit.