A Wild Ride (Hell's Tribe MC Series) [Book 7]

Chapter 20: Operation Sexual Healing

Happy update day everyone! Only 10 chapters left !! Does anyone have any predictions they want to call now? Let me know in the comments.

Happy reading!

~Maggie~

I often found myself leaving conversations with Blaze feeling like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Talking to him had become easy for some reason. Maybe it was because I didn't feel the pressure of his judgement, or because he was just a good listener, or maybe because he called me out on my shit without making me feel like a worthless fuck-up. Maybe it was because he had demons of his own and on some fucked up level, we understood each other. It meant a lot that he was willing to share his own trauma with me, cos I could see how hard it was for him to re-live. I felt like a big bag of shit when we compared the messed up crap that I'd done to the horrible stuff he'd gone through, but Blaze never made me feel like my trauma was any less important. Hell—I hadn't even recognized it as trauma until he pointed it out. I knew I wasn't totally innocent either—my actions were deplorable, I knew that and I wouldn't have expected anyone to grin and nod after hearing the truth about everything. Half the reason I didn't want anyone to know was because of how ashamed I was, but Blaze had somehow disarmed me, broken down the wall I had built up so damn high and made me feel comfortable enough to finally come clean. 

Granted, he did convince me by threatening that he wouldn't fuck me unless I told him all of it, but that was beside the point.

As far as I was concerned, what just happened in there had been totally fucking worth it. Not only did I get so much shit off of my chest, but I also freed myself from the web of lies that was tangling itself around my neck so intricately, it was beginning to feel like it was choking me. I also got three rounds of just possibly the hottest and most satisfying sex I'd ever had, so that was a bonus.

I was feeling fucking great—better than I had in months.

God bless that boy's penis, it was a cure for all kinds of shit. I'd say we needed to advertise him to women everywhere who suffer anxiety, but selfishly, I didn't wanna share him—plus, it wasn't exactly the only thing that helped. While I'd love to claim it was only the sex that put me in this amazing new head space, coming clean to Blaze had a lot more to do with it than I ever would have thought.

Who knew telling the truth could be so liberating?

I felt so good, that I was half considering coming clean to Bear and Trudy too just to see if that would add to my good mood. I wanted to tell them about all of it, even Fat George. Even though we all liked to pretend that shit was in the past, we all knew it was why our relationship was still strained. We buried it under a rug, let it simmer for seven years while I ran away and tried to live far from Tooele, and just expected it to be fine and fucking dandy when I came back. In reality, I needed to forgive them for not giving me the benefit of the doubt, and they needed to forgive me for being young and making a mistake. 

Even with all of those thoughts weighing on me, I was smiling ear to fucking ear as I walked to my car, knowing that today was bound to be a good day, and I owed it all to Boy Scout. He'd truly been the only person that was helping me get through this, and I owed him a lot.